Thursday, January 22, 2009

Is Public Access Television Capable of Slowing Time?

There's a dadaist public access television show here in Portland called The Von Hummer Hour that features a constantly singing and guitar-playing guy wearing glasses with eyes painted on them and rubber lobsters all around his head. It deserves serious study.

I have this theory that public access television can actually slow the passage of time. Hear me out: a segment of "entertainment" or religious sermoning or a serious meditation on the meaning of life can be listed at perhaps 2 minutes 53 seconds, but do you notice that it's the longest 2 minutes and 53 seconds you've ever experienced? That's because it's on public access television and time functions differently there.

Hey our new President, Mr. Cool, likes science and I think this is a theory worth exploring. Plus this is the sweetest political week in a long, long time. Although the economy is still tanking by the minute, I want this moment to last. I know--I'll watch some public access TV!

The Hypnotic Eye Intro by Joe Riley - Dallas public access (caveat: this is actually entertaining)

Francine Dancer - Hollywood public access

Man Playing Hurdy Gurdy - early 90s public access*

Marilyn Manson Interview Pt. 3 - Dream Vision, 1993 public access

Agnostic Front - The Uncle Floyd Show, 1986 public access

Mental Note - Johnny Sizzle's Entertainment Watch, 1992 Winnipeg public access*

*source: Classical Gas Emissions

Wired - Scientists: Time Itself May Be Slowing Down

1 comment:

mamiel said...

Thank you so much for posting this. i am from New Jersey and I love the Uncle Floyd show. Never thought I would see it again. Also, i think my friend used to play drums for Agnostic Front (Todd youth) though he wasn't the drummer in this segment. Then again, maybe i'm just making that up in my mind. Anyway, thanks for that bit of greatness.