Friday, January 30, 2009

Recession Buster: OMSI First Sunday - $2

This is only a helpful tip if you live in the Portland area but the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry (OMSI) costs only $2 per person on the first Sunday of each month and that means...this Sunday. So if you have kids, or you are a kid, or you're somewhere in that range--head over to this fine educational and fun-filled arena of learning.

Also of note: Da Vinci--The Genius exhibit opened at OMSI this week. There's an upcharge for it, but c'mon--it's DA VINCI! The guy's a genius. Several full-scale models of his inventions will be on display, including a hang-glider and a helicopter. And also tremendously detailed scans of the Mona Lisa, showing the numerous changes to the painting that occurred over time AND while he was painting it.

Did you know the Mona Lisa originally did have eyebrows and lashes? Over time they've disappeared into the oils of the painting. So no--she's not some weird, hairless fashion victim of her time. She just lost a little detail in the past 500 years. Also, she originally had a wider smile and was clutching a blanket or wrap off some sort in her hands. At some point during the painting process, estimated by some scholars to be over 15 years, Leonardo altered her looks and there she is for us to ponder. A mystery to this day.

Here she is today:
And here's CWW's rendition of how she might have originally looked (now you don't have to go to the exhibit--see? Recession buster):
If you can't see the exhibit in Portland, don't worry. It's a traveling exhibit, so it might come to your town and help you party it down.





Nat King Cole - Mona Lisa.mp3 -

Thursday, January 29, 2009

SFGate Comments Comix, Vol. 2

It's time once again for the delightful romp we call SFGate Comments Comix. SFGate comments are generally horrifying and psychotic in nature. Let's look in on this week's story and see what the top-rated commentators had to say about it. Enjoy.

Vol. 2
SFGate Comments Comix, Vol. 2


Vol. 1

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Hail Hail Patrick Swayze - "Road House" Rules

This recession makes me MAD. FIGHTING mad. ROAD HOUSE mad. Perhaps the stupidest movie ever made (and that's saying something), Road House stars the always low-key and charming Patrick Swayze as Dalton, the kick-ass "cooler" (glorified bouncer) who's hired to clean up the low-down dirty nasty dive, the Double Deuce.

This bar is so untamed and violent that the house band has to play in a cage for their own protection. There's drug-dealing in the bathrooms, skimming at the cash register, and fist-fights every five minutes. I think it's fair to say: Road House is a guy film. Maybe the ultimate guy film. If you don't believe me: count the mullets. There must be 350 mullets in the first half-hour alone. It all adds up to feature-film greatness: knife fights, pool cue fights, broken beer bottle fights, girls dancing on table fights, monster trucks, explosions, Ben Gazzara, pleated khaki pants (so tough), ratted hair, Sam Elliott, John Doe, and a bar band led by the late, great Jeff Healey. Road House rocks.

I stumbled upon Road House on the TV last night and I could not look away. I was thoroughly entertained. Blame the economic hard times. Blame the system. Blame the man. I want to bust some heads like Patrick Swayze, all zen and shit.

Don't try to pull a fast one on Dalton. He sees all. He knows all. He is all.




Check out this "meet cute" in the doctor's office. Very tough.




Ben Gazzara is a corrupt businessman who has the town of Jasper, Missouri by its balls. I love anything featuring Ben Gazzara. Even this. Maybe especially this. (Be sure to see him in Saint Jack.)




I've always secretly envied bouncers. Just once I'd love to be hired for my brawn. I'll have to live out my dream through the diminutive Swayze as Dalton. Anyone else in this role would have been laughable but he's so dignified, so committed to the insanity. I admire this man and I think you do too.




He is a Samurai Warrior among bar bouncers.




Trailer, 1989




Rest in peace, Patrick Swayze. You are missed.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Betty Boop in Ha! Ha! Ha!, 1934

I have to get my teeth cleaned and checked. Does your dentist use nitrous oxide like Betty Boop?

Perhaps, as this cartoon suggests, our national malaise would lift with a trip to the dentist.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Monday Movie-Monster Madness

The Astounding She-Monster, 1957. Starring radioactive Shirley Kilpatrick, wandering a California conifer forest on a budget of $12,000.


Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters, 1962. Whoa! This is new to me and it looks absolutely terrible. What an exciting find. Originally released in Mexico as Caperucita y Pulgarcito contra los monstruos.

Great purposefully stilted review by Tabonga! at Monster Movie Music.

Attack of the Crap Monsters, 1957, OOPS--I meant "Crab" monsters.


Robot Monster, 1953. One of my all-time favorite bad movies. The frightening aspect of a world ruled by one obese guy wearing a gorilla suit and a diving mask will haunt you hu-mans for all of etern-ity. He will fight you with his bubble machine! So, uh, beware.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Is Public Access Television Capable of Slowing Time?

There's a dadaist public access television show here in Portland called The Von Hummer Hour that features a constantly singing and guitar-playing guy wearing glasses with eyes painted on them and rubber lobsters all around his head. It deserves serious study.

I have this theory that public access television can actually slow the passage of time. Hear me out: a segment of "entertainment" or religious sermoning or a serious meditation on the meaning of life can be listed at perhaps 2 minutes 53 seconds, but do you notice that it's the longest 2 minutes and 53 seconds you've ever experienced? That's because it's on public access television and time functions differently there.

Hey our new President, Mr. Cool, likes science and I think this is a theory worth exploring. Plus this is the sweetest political week in a long, long time. Although the economy is still tanking by the minute, I want this moment to last. I know--I'll watch some public access TV!

The Hypnotic Eye Intro by Joe Riley - Dallas public access (caveat: this is actually entertaining)


Francine Dancer - Hollywood public access


Man Playing Hurdy Gurdy - early 90s public access*


Marilyn Manson Interview Pt. 3 - Dream Vision, 1993 public access


Agnostic Front - The Uncle Floyd Show, 1986 public access


Mental Note - Johnny Sizzle's Entertainment Watch, 1992 Winnipeg public access*


*source: Classical Gas Emissions

Wired - Scientists: Time Itself May Be Slowing Down

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Moe Tucker & Jonathan Richman - "I'm Sticking With You"

Dude! Obama's President! Other than Wowee Wow Wow, I'm temporarily rendered speechless (writerless). How 'bout that inauguration? Pretty special. See? I'm brain-damaged with happiness. I just liked watching the Obamas dance at the ball tonight. ¡Magnifico!

Here's a great little rendition of I'm Sticking With You. I stumbled upon this whilst fixing dozens of videos on the blog, which is undergoing YouTube copyright situation. Every nine months or so, record and film companies perform a raid on YouTube, wiping out hundreds, if not thousands of videos. This time around they allowed certain music videos, but only the visuals. The songs had to be removed or replaced with material deemed appropriate from the legal files. This has caused confusion and delay (to quote "Thomas the Tank Engine") in blog-land.


This time the music's there but the visuals: no. Take THAT record companies! Am I making any sense at all tonight?

The last time I saw Jonathan Richman was in a bar in San Francisco that my band She Mob was scheduled to play at. He was there early, talking to someone who worked there. When he finished, we excitedly gave him a CD, thinking he would love our naive chaos. Never heard from the man. He was wearing a really thick burgundy-colored, acrylic sweater. And it was hot that day. Jonathan Richman--iconoclast.

Happy Inauguration Day - Celebrate with Sharon Jones and The Dap-Kings

The world needs more soul music and Sharon Jones brings it. The Dap-Kings were last seen backing Amy Winehouse while she struggled with lyrics and slugged an audience member. I suspect working with Sharon Jones is a much more enriching experience all around. Happy Inauguration Day.

100 Days, 100 Nights


Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In) - I didn't think the original by Kenny Rogers & First Edition could be improved upon. I was wrong.


It's a Man's Man's Man's World


- MySpace
- Wiki
- Sharon Jones interview and in-store show at Amoeba Records in Hollywood - The Dap-Kings are amazing
- Sharon Jones - consummate entertainer
- The Inauguration of President-elect Barack Obama and Vice President-elect Joe Biden (I like the sound of that)

Friday, January 16, 2009

Recession Buster: Clinton Street Theater Delivers

Hooray! The Clinton Street Theater is showing a BRAND NEW 35mm PRINT of Jean-Luc Godard's 1965 gangster meditation, "Pierrot Le Fou." Starring the French ambassador of cool, Jean-Paul Belmondo, and one of the most beautiful women in film ever, Anna Karina, "Pierrot Le Fou" was made in 1965 and was Godard's gateway film from the gangster genre to the future structured chaos of "Weekend."

"Pierrot Le Fou" starts tonight and runs through Jan. 22. $6 admission but on Tuesday...only $4. And if you sign up as an e-mail subscriber you get $1 off any size popcorn. That's your recession-buster tip of the day.

Trailer


January 19th is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and the Clinton St. Theater will be screening "King: A Filmed Record - From Montgomery to Memphis." The 1970 Academy-award nominated documentary features vintage newsreels of MLK and several of his speeches, including "I Have a Dream," uncut. Rare footage of civil rights marches and demonstrations will make this a very special event.


January 20th, come at 8:30 a.m. to watch the Obama inauguration, live on the big screen. Admission: FREE.

Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St., Portland. 503-238-8899. Blog.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The Carefree Legacy of George W. Bush



Find more artists like Sid Vicious at Myspace Music



George W. has been working the legacy tour, eight years too late, but you can't fault him for being inconsistent. He's been failing at the presidency all along so what's a few days of cramming to try and make it right? After MLK Day, he can't hurt us anymore. Except in our collective memories, where he and his cabinet will linger, fester, and haunt us in the middle of the night for decades to come.

The one theme that runs through Bush's tenure is this: He doesn't care. He doesn't care about you, me, the soldiers, the people of Iraq or Afghanistan, our standing in the world, national security, the environment, the economy, the concepts of right and wrong. He doesn't care about ANYTHING because he has no ability to feel empathy. And our complacent public voted him in (again!) out of carelessness, selfishness and greed, enabling a sociopath in his quest to destroy everything he touched. As one Republican put it, driving his Humvee from his McMansion to partake in a day of golf, "I don't like Bush, but I don't want the democrats' hands in my pocket." Well, thanks a lot, asshole.

Here's a little Bush legacy pictorial I threw together with some very special musical accompaniment (you'll have to push the "play" button on that bulky little player to hear the music but it's worth it). After Monday, feel free to join him in brush clearin', bike ridin', and reminiscin' about those crazy daze of power and privilege.

"So I analyzed that and decided I didn't want to be the president during a depression greater than the Great Depression, or the beginning of a depression greater than the Great Depression." --George W. Bush, Washington D.C., Dec. 18, 2008

Call to Service Day is calling you

Soon-to-be President Obama has initiated a Call to Service Day, starting on Martin Luther King, Jr.'s observance day, Jan. 19th. You can find out what's happening in your neighborhood, then join in and volunteer to make your community a better place.

There are a ton of Northwest events starting this weekend and beyond. I'll be helping out at the Library, packing up some resource kits for single-parent families. There's tree plantings, food and clothing drives, meditation for peace gatherings, neighborhood clean-ups, and so very much more to do.

- Hands on Greater Portland has a local list of events to sign up for.

- Obama's new USA Service site allows you to plug in any zip code to find out what's happening in your area and beyond.

- MLK Day of Service site.

The new president--he's cool.



Photo and street art gathered from the always-inspirational Art of Obama site.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

All Hail the VCR - Girl Groups: The Story of a Sound

Our VCR died for the third time a few months ago and I decided to go to Goodwill and buy a used one for seven dollars, rather than try to fix the old one for $50. I know--disposable electronics are the devil's spawn, but we all have to make tough decisions when faced with the potential death of a media tool. It was time to pack it away in the "e-garbage" box for donation to some electronics geek who could put its innards to good use.

What I hate about throwing out older equipment is the loss of "heft." The old stuff is made of metal, inside and out. It often weighs a few pounds and it's bulky, but it's also solid, like those old typewriters of the 30s--little tanks they were. Typewriters eventually got so light-weight that they seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth. The same thing is happening to stereo components, cameras, and VCRs.

When you go to Goodwill and take a look at all the VHS tapes in a bin, you feel like you're looking at a graveyard of obsolete technology. And they're usually next to the records, 35mm film cameras, and computer components from last year. It's sad and wasteful. We've hung on to some VHS tapes. Some are actually quite winning. Like my "King Kong" commemorative edition with a cover that roars when you press it. I've got VHS tapes of Maya Deren, Kenneth Anger, Harry Smith's Early Abstractions, the amazing puppet animation of Ladislaw Starewicz, and classic grindcore film She Mob. She Mob was the name of my band, which we named after the movie before any of us had seen it. (I just read that Seattle band Mudhoney did the same thing--great minds...)

I can't toss these out. Some of them aren't on DVD. Or are difficult to find on DVD, like Girl Groups: The Story of a Sound, the 1983 documentary about the 60s pop sound of, yes, girl groups. Tons of interviews with the songwriters, producers, and stars of a singular time and place in musical history.

After cleaning out the new/used VCR with my handy "head cleaner," which, judging by the initial picture quality, I don't think had ever been done, I popped in "Girl Groups" and realized that what the interviewees were saying was absolutely true. The songs are great and these girls could really sing. Check out their cool 60s ensembles. The VCR lives! Long live VHS tapes (as if). Here's little selection from "Girl Groups" to celebrate our new/old technology.

The Exciters - Tell Him. Great lead vocal by Brenda Reid. Those crazy early music-video concepts!


Shangri-Las - Give Him a Great Big Kiss. I still listen to the Shangri-Las quite a lot. Look at 'em--so cooool.


The Ronettes - Be My Baby. My other favorite girl group. Amazing (actual clip from the doc with better sound and picture here).


Little Eva - The Locomotion. Swingin'--try not dancing to this.


Martha & The Vandellas - Heat Wave. When I was very tiny and I first heard this song, I couldn't believe Martha Reeves could sing like that. I still can't.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Mudhoney Monday Mania

Why never any posts on Mudhoney here? One of my favorite bands of all time. I have no excuse--I've been lax. I just heard Touch Me I'm Sick on the radio and something jolted me out of a ten-year somnolent haze. For God's sake, I muttered to myself: Mudhoney so completely rules. They are heaven-sent (from Seattle) and timeless.

Their lead singer Mark Arm is intelligent, sardonic and self-effacing. Plus he really wails. Their incredible lead guitarist Steve Turner wore black-framed glasses throughout the early 90s and looked like a cool middle-school social-studies teacher. They stayed on Sub Pop probably longer than was financially sound because they felt like it. They rocked so very hard and their CDs were apparently recorded in an abandoned beer silo (I made that up). I would, to this day, totally invite them to my party (and not be surprised when they couldn't make it due to prior obligations).

Touch Me I'm Sick, 1991 - Fame and fortune were not as forthcoming as they should have been after the release of "Superfuzz Bigmuff" Why? My only theory is that drummer Dan Peters played it kind of jazzy with some weird stop-stop tempos. Had he been more of a straight-up rock drummer with a typical back-beat, maybe all the kids would have made up a dance to this. That's all I got. A live performance in 2006 demonstrates the continuing high rockability quotient of this song.


Here Comes Sickness - Embracing the theme of "sickness"--always a good image-builder.


Mudhoney playing The Money Will Roll Right In with their pal, Kurt Cobain. Seattle was a big ol' gang of grunge. Remember? (Rocking my chair on the porch a little more energetically)--do you remember?


Let it Slide


Mike Long dances to You Got It in Hamilton, Ontario.


- MySpace
- A helpful fan-site discography.
- Who is Mark Arm?
- For further research.

Friday, January 09, 2009

You've come to the right place for quality entertainment

It's been a long journey back to normality after the holiday. It started with a drive through record-breaking snow and ice along Interstate 205. Leaving Portland took nearly five hours over lumpy, broken ice, snow and busted chains. Very "Road Warrior." Later we found out that the freeway would be closed for the rest of the day while snowplows attempted to make it flat and drivable again. How interesting that there was no news of this at any time during our drive, even on the traffic radio station. As always, communication is key!

The next day consisted of driving for 12 hours in a complete downpour. Sheets of rain until we got to Concord where it wasn't even sprinkling. It was like an epic space opera of travel through different planetary ecosystems. As we neared our Christmas-eve destination, we knew two things were certain: presents were going under the tree, then we were going straight to bed. More holiday shenanigans to come. For now, enjoy the clowns of the animal world.

Yes, it's a dog jumping on a trampoline. You can thank me later.


A bulldog who's an expert skateboarder. Life isn't so bad!


A dog suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder. Har!

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Go See: NW Film Center's Reel Music 26

Due to circumstances beyond my control, this blog became a little death-heavy this week. So at last--an event that's very life-affirming. NW Film Center is celebrating their 26th annual music and film program, Jan. 9 - 31. Musical, filmic riches! Check the schedule for full listings, all showing at the Whitsell Auditorium. Here's a smattering of excellence to look forward to.

"Sweet Lady with the Nasty Voice" Sun., 1/11, 7 p.m. - Hot dog! Vincent Kralyevich and Joanne Fish made a documentary on the great Wanda Jackson--godmother of rockabilly and STILL touring. My one regret in life (so far) is that I've always managed to miss Wanda Jackson when she comes around. She is so inspirational--I won't miss the film.


"The Upsetter: The Life & Music of Lee 'Scratch' Perry" Wed., 1/14, 7 p.m. & Fri., 1/16, 9 p.m. - Madman or prophet? Certainly the genius of dub.


"Throw Down Your Heart" Thurs. 1/15, 7 p.m. - Nashville banjo virtuoso Béla Fleck travels to Africa to find the roots of the banjo and to record an album with the musicians he meets in Uganda, Tanzania, Gambia and Mali. My idea of musical heaven.


"Patti Smith: Dream of Life" Thurs., 1/15, 9 p.m. - Steven Sebring followed his muse for nearly twelve years to make this film. That's dedication. I admit--not to deny the powerful charisma of Smith--I would see this mostly to check out Tom Verlaine.


"The Gits" Fri., 1/17, 9 p.m. - The Seattle punk band whose rise was brutally halted when lead singer Mia Zapata was murdered. This is a sad one but it has extensive footage of the band playing live, so go.


"The Wrecking Crew" Sat., 1/24, 7 p.m. - Finally, the phenomenal Los Angeles studio musicians who played on the hits of the 60s get their due. Backing the Beach Boys, Righteous Brothers, the Mamas and the Papas, Frank and Nancy Sinatra, and creating Phil Spector's Wall of Sound, The Wrecking Crew built the pop landscape of my early existence.


So many more music films await you. Check out:

- "Anvil! The Story of Anvil" - the greatest heavy-metal band you never heard of.

- "The Night James Brown Saved Boston" - James Brown was scheduled to perform at the Boston Garden, the night after Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated.

- "The Silence Before Bach" - a series of vignettes experimentally dwelling on various aspects of Bach music. Whenever I play Bach on the piano, I involuntarily enter a meditative state. I wonder if the movie would function this way too.

- "Blue Note: A Story of Modern Jazz" - how Alfred Lyon and Francis Wolfe fled Nazi Germany, came to New York and started the great jazz record label. Note that the Portland Jazz Festival will be celebrating Blue Note in February. And McCoy Tyner will be playing. I'm nearly passing out from all the excellence.

- "Filmusik: The Superman Orchestra" - Portland's 11-piece Superman Orchestra with three voice actors perform new scores to accompany Max and Dave Fleischer's 40s-era Superman Cartoons, which are fabulous, by the way.

It's all fabulous. Go...go!

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Ron Asheton - Invaluable Stooge

Sure Iggy Pop gets all the attention, but where would he be without the sludgy, emotive, rhythmic energy of Ron Asheton's guitar? The Stooges were/are hugely influential as a sound, an attitude, an artistic statement based on genuine dissatisfaction with the status quo. Their songs make me proud to be an American.

Ron Asheton should have been bequeathed a golden statue of some kind but now he's gone (age 60--that's sounding younger and younger to me these days) and it's too late. Thanks for getting me through my extended adolescence in one piece.

No Fun, looking hella fun.


TV Eye, 1970


I Wanna Be Your Dog, 1969

(best YouTube comment: RIP a true pioneer! That guitar cuts through 40 years of crap! - trashaholic71)

Eighteen reasons Ron Asheton was cool - Steve McLean, CHARTattack

Monday, January 05, 2009

Home, Strangely Built Home

After an epic Christmas journey to California and back, through one of the biggest snowfalls in recorded history, we're enjoying being back at the house again. After ten days away, I had actually forgotten which bathroom drawers held my hairbrushes and Q-Tips. Because Christmas results in the giving and getting of material items, unpacking is a large task this time around.

Plus there was the taking down of the tree, which had turned into a crispy fire-hazard while we were gone. A shower of needles and a large pine-scented spill from the tree stand is all that's left now. And then to add to the home-coming excitement--it started to snow this afternoon. It kept doing that until there were a couple of inches covering everything around us. Last night when we rolled in, there were only the barest, scrubbiest of snow patches on various lawns. Now--winter wonderland all over again. Compared to California's sunshine and cloudy patches, the Northwest offers a more dynamic weather situation.

I was going to do a wrap-up of the trip but I've caught some kind of Southwest Airlines airborne virus (I'm sure that's what it is). And I'm not up to thinking too much. Coming home is always pleasant when you like your house. Except for its asymmetrical roof shape and big windows for maximum tree-viewing, our home is a standard, nice little house. I wonder what it's like to come home to a more unusual-looking dwelling. Zillow.com lists some of the most unusual houses ever built, with aerial views. Imagine coming home to a giant shoe, or something resembling a patch of fungus growing on a hillside. It must be doubly exciting to step over the threshold, suitcase in hand, wondering--where did we place that hall closet?

This is the Flintstones, or dome, or mushroom house in Hillsborough, California. It's molded of chicken wire and cement. I believe the city created a strict planning code after this went up in order to avoid any further, uh, creative housebuilding efforts. Too late for this one though--it's visible from the freeway and emits its own freaky unclassifiable vibe.
The guitar house of Fayetteville, Georgia, was built by a country & western singer (natch). From the side, it looks like a normal house. But fly overhead and ZOING! Huh? Wha-? (rubbing fists into eyes) "Is that a Gi-TAR?!"
The shoe house of Hellam, Pennsylvania, built by a shoe salesman as a marketing gimmick. I gotta say, if this is your vision of footwear as selling point, perhaps you should go into guitar sales instead. Anyway, it's cute and clunky and eventually some hipsters may take over and turn it into a Doc Marten. I'd love a steel-toed bedroom.
The real Simpsons house was a contest give-away in Las Vegas, Nevada. An authentic replica, inside and out, which was won by a woman out of 15 million entries. Lucky! Who wouldn't want that carnation pink, purple, turquoise, lemon yellow, burnt orange color scheme throughout their home? Currently painted shades of beige to blend in with the suburban landscape. What a cop-out!
The spite house of Alameda, California was built when the original owner of the big house sold this narrow patch of land to his neighbor. Perhaps thinking he would plant a sunflower garden, the original owner was miffed to find the new land-owner building a ridiculously slender house next door instead. Turns out the new owner was a carpenter. Let that be a lesson to you! Carpenters: they're always building stuff. Currently both homes are owned by the same household and a walkway has been built between them, restoring architectural harmony.
This is some kind of Flintstones house from an unknown location. The interiors are really freaky and seem to be made of wet crepe paper clumped in various formations. I'm not passing judgment, but this looks like how a mental breakdown might personify a housing structure. Perhaps lumpen walls will one day be sought after by HGTV audiences. Think of the therapeutic sculpting possibilities.
The Ojo del Sol house of Berkeley, California is just sitting there, doing its special thing--whatever that is. This is kind of a Captain Nemo aesthetic and that's all I have to say, since my health demands bed rest at this point. I just can't help wonder what kind of window treatments go best with this...

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Dance Dance 2009

It's a new year with both amazing and crappy prospects. Time to dance.

Bettie Page (1923 - 2008). Gorgeous, winsome, bondage pin-up gal, Bettie Page always looked like she was having a genuinely good time. Whether or not that was true, for the buttoned-down 50s, she was a healthy jolt of sexuality. She said she often pretended the camera was her boyfriend. At age 30, she got out while the getting was good, leaving a mysterious and lovely imprint on the next five generations.


Kurtis Blow - Krush Groove, 1985


Aszure Barton's choreography is beyond impressive.


Breakin' vs. Krumpin'- Guys, guys, you're BOTH pretty...


Everybody celebrate.