- Darkly ominous CG matte-painted backgrounds
- Lots of "Ssch-Liiiing!" sword sound-effects
- Explosions (explosions?)
- Unspeakable evil
- A large tentacled creature
- Line readings through gritted teeth
- Screaming, horse-back riding
- Long, grimy hair, in need of conditioner
- Seething rage
- A spooky witch lady with raisin-colored lipstick
- Pounding orchestrated migraine-triggering soundtrack
Highlights:
Of course, for some, there can be only ONE Conan.
1 comment:
I saw it last night under duress. What a horrid mess of a movie, made palatable by Jason Momoas pectorals bouncing around in 3d :)
It gets my vote for one of the worst first 5 minutes of any movie though. His battle scarred mother fights to the death while 9 months pregnant on the battlefield, and his father gives her a crude cesarian section so she can see her son before she dies.
Almost everybody in the theater was giggling about how incredibly over the top and awful that was.
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