Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Celebrity Apprentice Hair Recap - Ep 3 - How Much is That...

...Celebrity in the Window? If you have to ask...

This week on Celebrity Apprentice, the women were looking for a win, so Ivanka Trump stepped in and pretty much handed it to them by hosting a living window-design contest, featuring her fashion line, of course. Comedian Lisa Lampanelli sums up the proceedings by advising, "Suck it up, buttercup." And we're off!

George Takei—the entire reason I started watching this show in the first place—is one dignified (and hilarious on the Internet) project leader. Too dignified for the likes of this show. He delegated tasks to his man-team, but didn't follow through when he probably should have micro-managed. This was particularly problematic in the choosing of the clothes for the men's day-to-night theme. Arsenio Hall dressed and styled the models, demonstrating that he's never worked in an office, or apparently attended an elegant red-carpet event. He is a sweetheart, though—I give him that.

Takei's presentation of the windows was also botched as he struggled to describe the ill-chosen clothing designed by his Trump-spawn judge. So while the men had a clever idea: hiring twin models for two different looks, the overall concept wasn't as fashionable as the women's side. Not even Paul Teutul, Sr.'s excellent custom signage, which Ivanka wants to feature in future displays, could save the men's team this time. Teutul is like a character out of Middle Earth, with his near-magical ability to manufacture sleek-looking machine-made items on the spot.

Over on the women's team, they had the advantage as their project leader, Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza, is stunningly beautiful AT ALL TIMES. This was evident as she modeled a Trump dress in the window, her hair blowing in the artificial breeze. Aubrey O'Day, who has been described on the AV Club's comments board as "a badly drawn anime character," didn't quite pull off that classic look in her white pantsuit. And the framing of the windows hid all the models' Trump shoes, but no matter! The women showcased the clothes, handbags and jewelry more prominently than the men, despite their cluttered design. Dayana's charity, Latino Commission on AIDS, gets the $20,000 win. Good deal!

In honor of George Takei's ongoing civil-rights activism—using humor as an effective weapon, this Celebrity Apprentice hair recap will be an all-brunette post. Not to separate the hair colors, but there's just such fine batch of brunette hair on this show. Takei was fired in this episode, but he's #1 in the boardroom of my heart.

Trump to Takei: "You're a terrific guy and you're fired!"

The Trump kids seem like good eggs, particularly Don Jr.

At a certain point during your lifespan, inky black hair looks forced, therefore, Lou Ferrigno could stand to let some grays show. George Takei in the boardroom wishes he was elsewhere.

Drawing Real Housewife Teresa Giudice's abundant tresses has exhausted me. I'll have to get to Tia Carrere, Patricia Velasquez and Penn Jillette next time. I can't believe I just typed that sentence.

I can't do Dayana Mendoza justice. She's physically perfect—take my word for it.

George Takei in the town car of purgatory—philosophical, possibly relieved.

George's charity, the Japanese American National Museum, is a worthy cause if you're looking for one.

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