Monday, June 17, 2013

Reality TV Quick Sketches

I caught this horrid cold yesterday and now I'm sicker than a new season of Hoarders. What to do when a virus has taken over the entire upper body, including my brain? Watch reality TV and make some quick portrait sketches, of course. These are some of the people on the TV that we invite into our homes each week (or each day, if you have a little bit of a TV-addiction problem). No particular order and no particular theme. I just liked drawing these faces today.

Milan is an assistant to plus-size fashion-designer diva, Kenyatta, on WE-TV's House of Curves. I thought a show about plus-size fashion would be interesting (How do you design for curvy bodies? Where do you sell such items? How do you work within the larger fashion world that caters to an ideal shape that most women can never obtain?), but I was wrong. The show appears to be heavily scripted for maximum meaningless bitchiness. Milan's parents want her to go to dental school but she's finding herself while serving specialty tea drinks to her boss, who invariably rejects them with a wave of her hand. Look at her cool neck ornament! I did not do it justice in this quick sketch.

Let's move on to Hoarders, which always inspires me to clean my house thoroughly, even while in the middle of a chest cold. Fredd and her husband Fuzzie live in a big house that Fuzzie's Dad paid for. They've stuffed it with collector and would-be art-project items, such as comic books, fake-bloody mannequins, videos, record players, dentist chairs, scary masks—like me and my friends in the olden days of San Francisco Bohemia.

Except they're in their 40s, still don't have jobs, and expect Fuzzie's father to keep paying their bills, which includes the rent on an 8,000-square-foot warehouse full of motorcycles, a birthing table, and more useless crap. They claim the warehouse is necessary because it has at least $10,000 worth of potential merchandise within, but come Hoarders clean-up day, their sale only nets $900 before the rest gets junked. Still, paying Fuzzie's Dad the $900 is, according to Hoarders' therapy-speak, "A step forward," so kudos. And they get to keep a basket full of broken vibrators should the need to use them for an art project ever come up.

Abby Lee Miller from Dance Moms, ladies and gentlemen. I think the image speaks for itself.

Bobo from Finding Bigfoot. I watched this once and couldn't believe it's a series. A group of Sasquatch researchers travel the world to, as you might guess, find Bigfoot. It would be cool television if they could actually find Bigfoot, but don't count on it. Still, nice work if you can get it.

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