The Internet has way too many numbered lists of things. But here are some that may be worth noting. Noting how with all our infinite resources on a planet perfect for human habitation, we've managed to dumb it down so thoroughly. Enjoy.
10 Worst Infomercials. This is a decent list of horrifying consumer products. My brother still has nightmares about the hair trimmer (#4). The key words: no matter how much they squirm, should have been a tip-off to my mom that as my brother still proclaims, "IT HURTS! OH GOD--HOW IT HURTS!" Also, I can watch The Hawaii Chair (#2) over and over again. It's hypnotically inane.
10 Trippiest Cereal Ads. Take a journey into the realm of your mind. Before noon? Yes, before noon.
10 Craziest Award-show Crashers. Award shows are perhaps the biggest time-wasters you can voluntarily submit yourself to. Would you pay to spend hours of your life watching a bunch of industry hoo-haws congratulate and thank each other between endless bouts of chatter and bad comedy-writing? Then why would you watch it on TV, even with bathroom breaks? Crashers help break the veneer of glossy civility and remind us that in a universe without end, we are never in control.
10 Commercials Before They Were Stars. Reminding us that celebrities once came from humble beginnings, like most of us. Humble beginnings that if nationally syndicated, brought them hundreds of thousands of dollars in revenue.
For the rest of us, this is more like it.
Filtered through the brain cells of Lisa McElroy
We had that hair trimmer too, it did pull on the hair and kind of hurt. I think that blade got dull fast. We used it mostly on the dog, and he didn't complain!
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