San Francisco Giants Sweetheart Pillows

I've got a World Series hangover, I don't want to get over (see Diana Ross, circa 1976). Part of it is regional—born and kind of raised, and mostly from San Francisco. And part of it is coming from a family of genuine Giants fanatics (they won't attend even one A's game due to the trouncing the Giants took from Oakland in 1989). Another Giants World Series win in three years is sweet victory for geographical identification and familial unity purposes.

But it's much more than that. It's the perfection of the Giants' defense, which is like 3-2-1 poetry in motion on nearly every play. It's the confidence that can only come from a dream-team of pitchers, their relievers and their closers, who march to the mound, looking like mere mortals, but pitch like Mt. Olympus Gods (if they had a pitching roster). It's the epic rise and come-back of Pablo Sandoval's hitting and Barry Zito's pitching, which is a story unto itself.

And, let's face it: Giants are hotties. So hot, in fact, that I'm currently designing prototype sweetheart pillows featuring your 2012 World Series Champions. All I need is the proper legal permissions and manufacturing contracts. Take a look and see if there's a place in your home decor for these hot, hot professional sports guys.

Barry Zito is so hot that even my brother has a little crush on him. But only after his incredible come-back games, of course. Before this season, he was an expensive cautionary tale in too much too soon. Now look at him: Hawt, and so confident on the mound. Barry's back, as this sweetheart pillow will attest.

Shortstops are stars and Brandon Crawford is no exception. He's close to perfection on so many plays, making one of the toughest positions look almost effortless. Plus he's hawt.

Pablo! Or Panda, as he is so often called. He's a hitter, not a quitter. MVP of the series—congratulations, sir.

Confession: Sergio Romo is my favorite Giant. He's small, unassuming, excitable, adorable. And then he steps up to the mound and like a surgeon, whips the ball past the American League's best hitters. In every game he played in. This man is an artist. A great artist of baseball.

Buster Posey is truly the sweetheart of the team. All the girls (and boys) like Buster. He's a catcher who never complains (rare), a great defense player who's also a fantastic hitter (even rarer). He was "on" just in time in game four. Huzzah.

Pitchers! We got pitchers! We got lots and lots of...that's right: pitchers. The Giants pitching is still going strong. Tim Lincecum struggled aplenty but re-found his footing as an excellent reliever. Matt Cain pitched a perfect game this season and remains one of the steadiest arms in pro ball. I'm putting Brian Wilson in there too as ultimate team cheerleader this season. Out with an injury for the year, Wilson was in the dugout every game anyway, cheering and jumping about with his fist aloft. Don't underestimate the power of positive thinking (and cheering). Just a suggestion: the beard—it's time for it to go. We're going for 100% hottie status and the beard is standing in the way.

Yeah—you get in there too, Hunter Pence. Blue-eyed soul.

There's so many more Giants who deserve sweetheart pillows, including super-slugger Marco Scutaro, Ryan (The Riot) Theriot, Gregor (The Catch) Blanco, and ace (and possibly genius) manager Bruce Bochy. That will be Sweetheart Pillow Series II. Congratulations, San Francisco Giants.