According to their almost universal policies, they would easily excel within any Taliban government. And given their druthers, teen-aged girls and full-grown women (including victims of rape and incest) should have babies—lots and lots of babies. That leaves these guys free to count their dirty, ill-gotten gun-lobby money while incarcerating as many poor addicts as possible, possibly murdering them with the death penalty whether they're guilty or not. Forget about healthcare, teeming masses—if you can't afford healthcare, that's just God's mandate. And are they pals with God! God is their great big buddy and right-hand man. I think that covers it.
Oh, and they'd really rather many of us not vote, so they can continue to power up their Fox News-generated political sideshow to stay in office as long as possible and feed off us like a bacterial infection.
Let's haiku:
Jeb Bush
No on abortion
Yes to the death penalty
Voting rights? Hah! lol
Chris Christie
Look into his eyes
The bullies from seventh grade
had more empathy
Ted Cruz
shuts down government
thinks climate change is a joke
morally bankrupt
Dr. Ben Carson
Believes health care law
is as bad as slavery
This man is confused
Donald Trump
Mr. pouty face
would-be supreme dictator
of major suckage
Carly Fiorina
My old HP boss!
a glorified P.R. hack
—so she qualifies
Mike Huckabee
Outlaw abortion
All human life is precious
Have a gun instead
Bobby Jindal
Paranoid zealot
drowning in a no-go-zone
of his withered mind
Rand Paul
libertarian
fiscally conservative
tea party code words
Rick Perry
policy wanker
deep in the heart of Texas
a heart of darkness
Rick Santorum
Family values
don't include contraception
Google "Santorum"
Scott Walker
is lacking daughters
to undergo ultrasound
for their abortions
