Rock Out Stevie Nicks

Stevie Nicks is 63. Here she is totally owning Edge of Seventeen like it's 1981 all over again.



It's 1981 all over again!



Thanks, ONTD

Songs of upbeat cheerfulness

Whoa, it's been quite a July around here. I mean, when Kaiser Hospital starts to feel like a second home, something ain't right, y'know? But things will hopefully lock back into their healthy dimensions and we'll be one of those families who have fun in the sun again. With the barbecues and the baseball outings and plenty of porch sittin' while swatting the 'squitos away.

Carl Carlton - She's a Bad Mam Jama (She's Built, She's Stacked). How can you not be happy while listening to this song? "I get so excited viewing her anatomy." My significant other has just announced that this song is turning him on. And there you have it.


The Kinks - Till The End of the Day. Not the happiest of bands as far as personal interaction, but this is a joyful song. I always imagine a guy walking down the street, who can't wait to get home to his best girl. He can't even believe that not only has he found her, but that she actually likes him too. It's win-win.


Verlaines - Death & The Maiden. My significant other claims this is a happy song. I'm not so sure. But it is difficult to listen to the chorus and not get all happy, even if you have no idea what's going on there. And I don't, all these years later. It just sounds really upbeat and New Zealandish so that's reason enough to celebrate.


Tom Tom Club - Genius of Love. Perhaps the happiest pop song of all time. Name one that's happier. You can't, can you? Well, nice try. Even the title is genius.

Unfortunate movie sequels of days gone past

"Grease 2" starring Michelle Pfeiffer before she got all super-famous. Despite this elaborate bowling number, I never saw this film.




"Staying Alive," the sequel to "Saturday Night Fever," was directed by Sylvester Stallone. Even though it's all about making it on Broadway while wearing a headband, I never saw this film.




"Jaws 3-D" had the shark ultimately crash through the giant aquarium glass of one of those Southern Californian marine-parks. In 3-D! I saw this on a date in the theater when it came out. It was gravely disappointing. Both the film and the date.




"Troll 2" has gazillions of views on YouTube. But I haven't seen it.




Warwick Davis. Ice T. "Leprechaun in the Hood." Haven't seen it.




"Scream Blacula Scream," the sequel to "Blacula." I probably saw this as a child because pre-cable television used to show movies like this all the time. *sigh* The 70s--you really had to be there.

Songs with Dancing in the Moonlight in them

It's nighttime! And nighttime is the right time to dance in the moonlight. Especially on a hot summer's night. Even if it's foggy and blustery (like it is here, right now).

I miss Thin Lizzy. They're beginning to sound pretty timeless to me after all these years.




You can never have enough King Harvest in your life. Jackson made me keep this on the car radio the other day while we were driving home. He said it reminded him of "Toy Story 3." Could he mean Randy Newman? I think he did. I love the drums in this. I never would have thought to drum this way on such a "light pop hit." Kudos, King Harvest drummer.




It is a marvelous night for a Moondance, don't you agree?




Origin of the Moonwalk...?

Hallucinatory Prompts

After a weekend chock full of medical enlightenment, I'm trying to return to regularly scheduled life here. Unfortunately, I caught some kind of stomach virus and now I'm at the computer very reluctantly. I find that The Encyclopedia of Pop Culture, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, and ancient "Mary Tyler Moore" shows do nicely when I'm under the weather. Computer work: not so much.

Not that this is work! Here are some photos I took one dusky eve of our nearby canal/creek, which had been invaded by some kind of sudsing agent. Don't worry--it's not toxic waste. The canal is completely controlled by our water-board overlords that regulate its every ounce of existence. This particular day, it happened to be spewing out of pipe and making all these swirly designs. The next day: just an ordinary wildlife-reserve creek again--full of tadpoles, crawdads, heron, turtles and an elusive otter. I finally saw him, swimming and eating algae-like growth in the nearby pond, like a mammalized weed eradicator. Otters are cool! And shy.

What do YOU see in the sudsy creek swirls below? If you're extra arty, ambitious and bored, feel free to click on these and print them out and draw or paint right over them. Creatures, real and imaginary, might appear to you. Turn the page around and study it from every angle. Amy Winehouse? You never know! My online art teacher, Carla Sondheim, makes this a regular part of her classes, using sidewalk cracks as the basis of the drawing exercise.






Purchasable hallucinations of a different kind:

Terrible Cereal of the 70s

I'm on a 70s kick. My family is still addicted to cereal, but we try to tone it down a bit. When I was a kid, not only did cereals contain measuring cups full of added sugar, but they proudly proclaimed that fact right on the box. Super Sugar Crisp, anyone? Sorry, you'll now have to settle for Super Golden Crisp.

Currently, cereal promises to lower cholesterol, prevent heart attacks and be part of a healthy lifestyle that includes diet and exercise. No wonder I miss the 70s. At least we didn't sugar-coat it. It already came that way.

Look at these Freakies Cereal characters. They're the color of mold, covered in boils and all have antisocial personality traits. Yet we ate boxes of the stuff just to get their plastic images for a complete set. The cereal was like sweet chunks of sawdust. I didn't care. I had the complete set. Thanks, Mom.




When you envision breakfast, do you think of monsters, vampires and ghosts? The 70s have you covered. All of these cereals contained neon-colored, ultra-flavored marshmallows. Franken Berry tasted like throat lozenges. Count Chocola tasted like mud, and Boo Berry tasted like cough medicine. The commercials kept us coming back for more. Advertising: it really works.




My dentist was smart. He created a wall display full of cereal boxes with the purported amounts of sugar within them. Most had four to eight tablespoons. I believe King Vitaman had something along the lines of fifteen tablespoons of sugar per box. I was impressed enough by this anti-propaganda to say "no" to King Vitaman from that day forth. And do you see King Vitaman on the shelves today? Way to go, Dr. Gardiner, DDS, of Concord, California.




Quisp was an appealing lunatic character with a built-in propeller hat and seriously crazy eyes. But let's face it, his cereal was crap. Best part was its flying-saucer shape, which allowed you to suck out all the sugary flavor on the tip of your tongue as it disintegrated quickly to corn dust on the roof of your mouth. Cut way down on mouth sores that way.




Bonus: Super Sugar Crisp was actually a pretty decent cereal--ultra-sweetened wheat puffs will always work for me. And Sugar Bear was the coolest--every kid thought so. Plus over the years you could collect cut-out cardboard records from the backs of the boxes that actually played. I got some Archies tunes that way. Anyway, Super Golden Crisp doesn't have the same streetwise tone, does it?




Let's listen to cereal-box recorded music, shall we?

Sleeping on the job

So much going on--couldn't write much of anything here today. And by going on, I unfortunately don't mean county fairs and beach-comber holidays. Nor do I refer to work deadlines (although that figures in for my better half lately), nor any kind of career-oriented deadline. Simply health issues, but hopefully that will be addressed soon and our regularly scheduled summer frivolity can continue. Or begin. Or be considered at least.

Here's a great big head from the Ruth Bancroft Garden sculpture show that I managed to attend briefly today. Isn't this peaceful? Almost a wee bit too new-age, but the fact that it's surrounded by succulents and cactus and drought-resistant spiny plants that poked me as I took photos, makes it more rugged in my estimation.

Happy July 4

We headed over to the A's ballpark today (can't remember which corporation is sponsoring it this year), and were pleased to discover it was free visor/flag day, as this fan so aptly demonstrates.



Between innings, a roving reporter interviewed U.S. armed-forces families who were attending the game. Then they broadcast videos on the jumbo-tron from Kabul, Afghanistan, of Bay Area service people, sending greetings to their families. It was really moving and sad.

Despite its popularity in many countries, I still think of baseball as the quintessential American sport, and to see men and women serving in Afghanistan wistfully and cheerfully send us affectionate greetings at the game (a lukewarm pitching-fest between Oakland and Seattle) was almost more than I could bear. Best wishes to all service people and their families.

Weird Cars of the 70s

Hello. Today we're exploring the weird world of 1970s cars. Why? Because--they were so entertaining. Well into the mid-80s, these cars were still surviving on California's temperate-climate roads. But now they're only viewable in the windmills of our minds--unless a neighbor happens to have one of these in the driveway (usually not driven much). Then it's a flashback to a strange, inventive time, where experimental, affordable vehicles were treated as viable transportation.

The AMC Pacer was wide. How wide? This wide:




This supposedly made it more stable, comfortable and cool. Unfortunately no one thought it was cool, except for my Aunt Maris, who had the wagon with the wood insets. It made a wide impression when she came to visit.



We would call this her "flying saucer" car. Because it looked almost as wide as long. This bummed her out, but we actually liked her Pacer. It is cool to try something new, even if it's extra wide. AutoMoments has an intriguing and thorough history of the Pacer here.


AMC again. This time it's the Gremlin. The Gremlin was infamous for looking like a piece of garbage on wheels. But it had a distinct little gremlin mascot logo, and as kids--we liked that. The car your kids want is probably not the car you should get. But they were cheap--real cheap. Don't see these much anymore (because they have all since disintegrated). They were once a fixture on California roads for many years, especially in lime green for some reason.


The Ford Pinto makes this TWO shitty cars in one commercial.


The Volkswagen Thing. You could change it up: take the top off, the doors and windows off, fold the windshield down. It seemed like more of Matchbox toy than an actual road-worthy vehicle. Still popular in Mexico and among collectors in Europe and the U.S.




For reasons known only to him, my dad once bought a turquoise Volkswagen Dasher station wagon. Although marketed as an affordable "family car," the back seat had metal springs that my brother and I could feel poking into our backs through the vinyl seats--like sitting against an old junkyard mattress. It had a permanent rattle too, resembling the sound of an open case of beer with the cans rolling around at all times.

My dad eventually gifted this car to me when I moved to San Francisco and having dealt with the corrupt Muni bus system at all hours of the day and night for two years straight, even the Dasher was an improvement. That permanent rattle was my entry into the wonderful world of car ownership. Eventually it couldn't pass a smog test, so I couldn't legally register it. I sold it to my friend Bill, who told me he had always wanted to buy a car for $100 even. That Dasher made his consumer dream come true.

This will give you an idea of the best-forgotten legacy of the VW Dasher. Tagline: "Volkswagen Does It Again." Yes, they certainly have.




Here's a manual wagon with the AM/FM stereo option in the much sought-after "crusty-egg yolk" color scheme. Apparently someone forgot it was in their garage because it only has 22,000 miles on it.




I'm going to get an angry comment for this, but the 70s-era Chevy El Camino car-truck is still completely weird-looking to me. Why make a truck with the body of a car? Just admit you're driving a truck, confused car-consumer. There's a solid-brown one of these in a driveway near my kid's school and every morning when I pass by, I think: that's one weird utility-vehicle concept. Anyway, I kind of like these too because the resemble a child's model-car experiment gone awry--except they're REAL.



Update: Took the kid to see "Cars 2" today. Imagine our surprise to find a lime-green Pacer, a tangerine Gremlin and a much-maligned Hugo all have prominent roles in the Pixar sequel. John Lassiter remembers the 70s well.

New Santigold will be here any minute now

OK--well, actually Santigold has promised to release her second album in the fall. And so we patiently wait. New release (featuring Karen O):



This calls for a celebratory Santigold dance party!



I'm not going to lie. I completely stole all this information from ONTD, a main source of entertainment news.

Marta Thoma Hall - Journey of a Bottle at the Walnut Creek Library

This amazing sculpture by Marta Thoma Hall resides in the stairwell of the new library in Walnut Creek, California. It is always enriching to look up as you climb the stairs to see how the bottles capture the wonderful East Bay light from the wall of windows nearby (can there be a "wall" of windows?). I took many shots for a class I'm taking and I thought I'd share. The library has other really fine artwork too and is a fabulous place to hang out and obsessively-compulsively read, if you like that sort of thing.

Robert Reich explains our problematic economy in 2 minutes

I can handle economic news in two-minute increments. Can you? Thank you Robert Reich for making it so.



He is absolutely right about schools and roads. My kid's third-grade class has 32 kids in it. The teacher depends on a teacher's aid to keep all those kids in line and learning, but aid-budgeting has been cut for the last two years. We parents are begged to contribute to a seemingly insurmountable fund to pay aids' salaries. This, after multiple fundraisers throughout the year to pay for music, physical education, art and other "extras."

It takes the "public" out of the public school system when you're constantly being asked to pay for education on top of all the taxes paid each year. And what happens to schools that are not located in solidly middle-class neighborhoods? You can understand the problem but can you offer a solution? Neither can I.

And roads. There is a stretch along Telegraph Avenue in Oakland, CA that is so utterly wretched and destroyed that I almost thought of four-wheelin' it the other day. Like one of those 1990s' SUV TV ads where the vehicle ultimately plows through a creek-bed among the redwoods by commercial's end. Always with the SUV through a creek, destroying nature and wildlife endlessly in those thoughtless, nitwitted commercials. And America bought it, but that's another tale to tell.

Anyway, Telegraph is a major travel artery in Oakland and no one in the city sees fit to fix it. I can't imagine what it costs city dwellers each year in auto repairs, simply trying to get from point A to B. And yes, there are bicycles, but there are also a lot of bicycle accidents in Oakland, and not everyone can afford decent health insurance (or even a decent bike--they're hella expensive now).

I will end this rant by saying the economy does drastically affect all our lives, even if it's in the future when kids graduate from schools that can barely hold it together from year to year. And no one can afford to rent or buy a home because there are few jobs and even fewer well-paying jobs. And this is something that's been going on for decades now, dot-com and housing booms and busts aside. Take it from me, a long-time struggling slacker/low-wage earner. And while you're pondering quality-of-life issues, try not to plow through any delicate creek-beds with your aging SUV, please.

The Simple Things In Life

It's summer! Unless you're in Australia. But here, it's summer! Time for sipping lemonade at the local garage sale while ladies fan themselves with junk mail and talk about network-marketing moisturizing parties. When did it all get so COMPLICATED? Here's to the simple things in life.

Unicorns!


Daisies!

Part 2
Part 3

Love!


Frog song!


Bar-Kays!

It's getting REAL in the Whole Foods Parking Lot

Bravo, Fog and Smog, bravo.

Chloe - Manners

LOL - More! More!

Chloe "Oscars"


Chloe "Summer"


Chloe "Comedy"


So much more.

The Monsters of Big Man Japan

Comedian/writer/director Hitoshi Matsumoto's satirical cult monster-movie, Big Man Japan, is set to be remade by an American think-tank conglomerate. Due to the cultural references particular to Japan vs. the U.S., I for one can't wait to not see this. Although there's always a very outside chance it could have some merit. But I'm not hopeful.

Anyway, back to Big Man Japan. I got this DVD for three dollars at a closing Blockbuster video store (remember those?) and I think it was worth every penny and then some. There are pacing problems. The first rule of screenwriting class—show don't tell, is completely ignored here. And American audiences tend to freak out when scenes go on for more than five minutes and there's too much exposition. But the boring documentary-style interviews with slow-witted, middle-aged monster fighter Masaru Daisato actually echo the Japanese monster-movie format—boring ineffectual people set up the scenes that lead to excellent and cheesy monster fighting. So fast-forward to the monster fights like a traditionalist if you want. That's what I do.

Modern Japanese culture gets skewered, and some of it might be transferable to our disposable, commercialised U.S. shores. Daisato is considered a pest more than a hero and is nearly obsolete due to lack of monsters and interest by the Japanese reality-TV audience. Unlike his popular grandfather, the monster-fighting "Fourth," he has no servants and lives in poverty, sadly sprinkling dehydrated seaweed upon his lonely meals. His wife and child have left him. The public despises and blames him for ruined infrastructure and environmental damage. He's not much of a fighter either, tubby and cautious, more often accidentally killing the oddball assortment of monsters who seem to exist to torment him within barren landscapes devoid of screaming crowds.

I debated whether to post images of the bizarre and entertaining CG monsters (most of whom, like Big Man, come across as pear-shaped, middle-aged, and not too sharp), not wanting to spoil it for everyone. But with this new remake announcement, I figure you're all going to be looking at the monsters anyway, especially YOU, Hollywood. If you don't want to see the weirdness, look away! I promise not to reveal the ending, which is truly amazing and requires some mind-bending thought processes to integrate within the weird world Matsumoto has culled together. And now:

Big Man Japan (tattooed with a corporate-sponsor logo--make note, film studios).




The Strangling Monster lives to flip his comb-over after happily toppling buildings and then--well, I'm not sure what he's doing to the building sites afterwards. Like a lot of these creatures, it's a weird brew of grotesque sexual pleasure, and I don't know what else. I'll leave it for you to decide when you watch the film.





The Fourth was considered a true hero in Japanese society, surrounded by adoring crowds who paid for his every living expense. Quite a contrast to the modern Big Man Japan lifestyle of neglect and non-self-reflexive ennui.




Leaping Monster only wants to leap while yelping, "Sei!" Fans of Yokai Monsters will not find these creatures all together incomprehensible. Everyone else: prepare to be deeply perplexed.




Evil Stare Monster is extremely perverse in its fighting methods. Kind of like a really bad stage act at the Exotic Erotic Ball.




Stink Monster is one smelly bitch in heat. Big Man Japan tries reasoning with this mysterious hot-house flower to, of course, no avail.




The Child Monster is helpless yet potentially threatening. Kind of like real children.




Evil Red Menace with his glowing eyes actually knows how to fight. That could definitely be problematic.



Trailer

Scott Weaver's San Francisco toothpick sculpture - Rolling Through the Bay

Roger Ebert's twitter pointed me to this today and it's so epic, amazing and charming I thought I'd share. Scott Weaver spent the past 35 years building a model of the San Francisco Bay Area with more than 100,000 toothpicks. Best of all, it's kinetic. Beautiful, unreal and fun--just like the real place it depicts.

Scott Weaver's Rolling through the Bay from The Tinkering Studio on Vimeo.

On display now at the Exploratorium's Tinkering Studio through June 19th.

Wholesome Pole Dancing

Pole dancing! The fitness sensation that's sweeping the nation! It's not just for strippers anymore! Need proof? Read on:

Pole fitness for Jesus done to upbeat contemporary Christian music.




Martha Stewart embraces the pole, looking perfectly comfortable and natural while doing so.




Not to be outdone, Ellen De Generes tries her hand in her awesome custom-made androgyny-wear. (Ellen is my favorite fashion icon. Even more so since whenever she speaks I think of Dorie the lovably brain-damaged Fish from "Finding Nemo.")




In a show of pole-dancing equality, Ellen features a bare-chested male pole dancer. The suspenders make it wholesome.




I hope you're up for an emotional open-shirted pole-dancing experience. The confetti rain washes away any lingering impurities.

Red Sonja for no reason whatsoever

I have to keep looking at my calendar to remember what day it is. My kid had furlough days off of school, plus Memorial day weekend and then an extra day for reasons I can't remember--a Union stipulation perhaps. Hence: my confusion. Is it garbage night? Does the mail now come after two days of no delivery? Are people bitching on Facebook about nothing important? OK--getting back to normal then.

Here's Red Sonja starring 80s sensation, Brigitte Nielsen. "They" say she's a bad actor, but I really like her in this. Kind of stiff and cold, but she's supposed to be, having been mauled by marauders and left for dead without any counseling afterwards. She gets along well with animals and beats the crap out of people (mostly men) with her broadsword. She's got a killer mullet and she's properly physical, which is all in keeping with her Amazon warrior-like status.

Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Kalidor (basically Conan in everything but name--a legal issue) as good-natured, but smirky. Whenever I happen to be channel-flipping and this is on, I linger. But I do yell out (spoiler) "NO!" when Sonja finally succumbs to Dumbhead's charms. She obviously should find contentment with an equally cool lady.




Check out these clips. With Dino De Laurentiis at the helm, you will definitely be entertained.




Epic, huh? Sandahl Bergman is the evil Queen Gedren. I would hate to be in a girl-band with her. I think I was in a girl-band with her.



Bergman was originally slated to play Sonja but turned the role down to play Gedren instead. What might have been!


And take a look at Conan's, I mean, KALIDOR's pad. Manly.



It's all a grand journey into the demented mind of...someone, and though it tanked at the box office and critics have been laughing at it since 1985, I like it--wrong as it is. It paved the way for Xena, Buffy and Seven of Nine--half-human/half-warrior chicks who didn't need men, opting for femme girls, conscious-tortured vampires and the Borg, respectively.

The Way We Get By - Memorial Day 2011

If you get a chance, you should watch the documentary The Way We Get By, which aired once again on PBS this Memorial Day. It's a very heartfelt and touching look at a group of older people who send off and greet U.S. troops out of the Bangor, Maine airport, 24 hours a day. Some have served in the military. Some have family members in the military. All have differing views of politics and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, but they're united by one philosophy: to thank the young people in the U.S. armed forces for their service.

Trailer


Watch it on Hulu.