Joyous Oakland A's Captured by Artist Ming Choi—Plus Balfour Rage

Oakland A's by Ming Choi, 2012

Keith and I actually went out the other night, which almost never happens, and while traipsing about San Francisco, fell in love with this little painting of the Oakland A's by Ming Choi. Choi is part of the artist collective at Creativity Explored, a studio for developmentally disabled adults. If you're ever in the Mission District, stop by and visit the Creativity Explored gallery. It is an eye-popping experience. There are so many wonderful artworks there from the very tiny, to the giant wall-sized. Plus sculptures and even sometimes painted furniture. It's art heaven, trust me, and very affordable.

This 8"x10" painting manages to capture a joyous Athletics season. The low-budget, scrappy A's won their division against all odds. Although they didn't make it to the final playoffs, losing to the best pitcher in the league in an epic and thrilling five-game series with the Detroit Tigers, they played with complete heart and soul on the field. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. Congratulations, Oakland A's—I treasure your memorable season and now we have some art to commemorate it.

And as for you, loyal A's fans, perhaps the greatest performance artists in the history of professional baseball—we'll get 'em next year.

Balfour rage is the official headbanging, fist-churning cheer you exhibit when Australian relief pitcher and Metallica fan Grant Balfour is called into the game. It's especially prevalent in the right-field bleachers and is a great upper body workout.

It started out small.



And grew into a movement of sweeping magnitude.



There is no containing the Balfour Rage.



Bonus! A's fans are Moving like Bernie with Mayor Jean Quan.

Vice Presidential Debate 2012 - the never-ending epic battle

Van Helsing—he always prevails. But Dracula manages to rise time and time again. It's a never-ending epic battle all right.

Mail art for creative recession busters

I love making mail art but I don't always have the time to "do it right." And luckily for me, there is no right way to do mail art. Send a fruit basket in the mail. No, not those costly gift ones—an actual plastic container what holds fruit at the grocery store. Only put a dinosaur diorama inside of it, slap an address label on the other side and you've got some mail art. Will it go through? I don't know—that's the wonder of it all.

This was not my clever idea though. Oh no. My friend, DC came up with it. I don't think she'd mind if I posted here.

You probably don't have any idea how great it feels to get this in your mailbox, so I'll tell you right now:  pretty damn great. My mail lady loves it too. You know how people sometimes say, "That brightened my day," and you're thinking: right, sure, good on you, dude. But truly, my mail lady claims that this mail art project has brightened her day considerably. I suppose sorting and distributing a ton of junk mail for hours on end would make you look forward to something like this.

DC is a master of mail art. I'm just a beginner. A schlub. I've mailed comics and fanzines and homemade postcards in my time, but this project has been an interesting challenge. What weird object can you send through the mail? DC pushes these boundaries on a regular basis. She once sent me a latex glove, stamped and addressed properly, with a hand-shaped letter inside. My mail lady said they all wear those same gloves at the mail station when they're sorting. So that latex glove was a big hit that day.

I'm still finding my mail-art legs. I'll post a few of my attempts here.

My latest collage is a remembrance of our shared youth in San Francisco during the 80s. I used to put these types of things together back then too. I'm telling ya—collage is probably where it's at with me, despite all my photography/cartooning desires. Something about gluing the paper together to make something new out of old. Or perhaps it's because you can combine all of the 2D art elements into a collage. I've always been a hoarder of art elements.

Envelope

Back of envelope

DC correctly guessed that I used a Laughing Cow container to send this box of hippies to her. Jackson and his friend Clarabelle did the spin art. I included some Spirograph notes from my vintage set, just to set the groovy tone. Inside: a family of hippies with quotes from each of them. The dog has a tic but I'm sure they'll fix that with homeopathic remedies, so don't worry.

The little girl will grow up to be an investment banker—that's how it goes

This is a fold-up Hulk. He unfolds when you untie his classy golden cord. He has a lullaby about insomnia pasted on his chest (wish I hadn't done that—I actually drew a pretty decent chest on him). DC and I both suffer from insomnia. I think the Incredible Hulk can fix anything, even our hormone-induced sleep issues.

You'd be amazed what you can send through the mail. You can send candy packaging. Why not? This was a package full of grocery-graphics people. I cut out some graphic designs on processed food items (some were organic, so get off my back, hippies!). Then I turned these cut-outs over and "saw" the people and drew them into being. Their flip-sides are on the second photo below.

The secret people that live in food graphic design

Their true looks from grocery packaging

Inkblots—I got these going after reading The Inkblot Book by Margaret Peot. You might think: inkblots? What's in it for me? Well, inkblots can be quite lovely and very surprising. If you draw over them, you'll be consistently amazed at what you see and create. The element of surprise only enhances the artistic experience. Peot's Inkblot Blog offers more inspiration.

The Debate - two angry snails

Bat Spirit

I drew characters this way

Then flipped the envelope over and drew these characters as well

Pulpo! He has six tentacles only. He is self-conscious about this.

Some teeny tiny Republicans have escaped from their hell-mouth envelope.

Random stuff I sent DC when we first started this project: bookmarks (she's a librarian as well as being a kick-ass artist), Marc Maron's tweets in comic form, odds and ends.

Flowers made from gesso, watercolors, scribbles and tea stains. I didn't know what I was doing or how it would come out. That's OK. That makes it fun.

Halloween Shopping Items That Will Grab Your Eyeballs

Jackson wants to decorate the house really scary this year for Halloween. The jolly string of jack-o-lantern lights no longer appeases him. But we have quite a few little kids in our neighborhood who would not appreciate the realistic moaning animatronic flesh-eating zombies available at the drugstore. I know Halloween is supposed to be spooky, but with technological advancements, the gore factor in cheap products most likely made by child labor overseas has got me down. I mean, it's for KIDS, ultimately, who are dressed like butterflies as well as vampires in order to get their candy treats.

A touching Halloween memory: the house down the street from us in Washington was full of big guys, originally from the Ukraine. They put their hearts and souls into Halloween decorating and staged a haunted front yard every year. There were skeletons and gravestones and cobwebs and blacklights and scary sound effects. The guys dressed as monsters and leaped out from their front porch at trick-or-treaters, with one exception: when we came walking up (Jackson was five at the time), one of the guys yelled out, "LITTLE KID!" and all his brothers faded away into the shadows while their mom came to the door, dressed in her usual housewifely attire, smiling and offering candy. This went on all night, so big kids got the scares and little kids got a reprieve. That was thoughtful.

Anyway, I've been window shopping and here's some nice Halloween stuff I found. Spooky but not homicidal—that's how I like it.

I broke down and bought this really cute e.l.f. Disney Villains makeup kit, featuring Maleficent's Sinister Smoky Eyes. Also comes in Evil Queen from Snow White and Cruella de Vil—each one a palette of magnificent maliciousness. Perfect for drag queens, Halloween revelers, and girls in bands who need a little "stage presence." You're paying for a small amount of makeup in some boss packaging, but for $9.99 (at Walgreens), it's a decent impulse buy.

Available only at Walgreens, where evil lurks around every aisle

There's even a wee mirror because you're not only evil, but vain. The names of the eyeshadows are terrific: fog of doom, misfortune, forest of thorns and diablo, to name a few.

You get a day and night look because evil never sleeps. There's liner and lip pencil and check out the false eyelashes. I doubt I'll be wearing those much but they're very spiky and pretty. I tend to like to see out of my eyes with minimal obstruction (and glue). It's one of my crazy habits.

Maleficent day and night looks, but good luck on getting those eyebrows

Next we're heading over to Cost Plus World Market where home decorating never ends. I like their classic, vintage, and dia de los muertos Halloween shops. More charming than terrifying and some of it is year-round goodness, especially if you're rather Goth in nature.

I would love to hang these vintage inspired figures around our front yard. They're like something out of old photos and quite dapper in their burlap duds.

A little pricey at $59.97 but they're 36" tall and quite classy

Wouldn't it be awesome to serve cold-cuts from this Frankenstein Monster tray? I would use this year round. Yes, it's scary, but in a classic way.

HUNGRY!

None of the Dias de los Muertos items are made in Mexico, but the spirit (ahem!) of the season is apparent. I like the skeleton wind chimes and hanging cats sculptures. They would mark your house as the "cool one" on the block, for sure.

Only a little macabre

OMG—adorable felt owls with coconut-button eyes!

Not scary, just ridiculously cute

And finally, let's window shop at the overwhelming array of gross Halloween candy at Oriental Trading Company. I would not eat any of this but it does have a certain "we have too much capitalistic fervor in our veins" attraction.

Bag O' Blood - remember how Angel the vampire hero had to feed at the blood bank? Well, here you go.

Oriental Trading recommends using their gummy eyeballs as cupcake decorations. Yum...?

Gummy Flesh Fries are pushing it but who am I to judge? Munch away.

Girls' Love Stories - Please Take My Heartbreak! - No. 112, July, 1965

Hello and welcome! It's time once again for another thrilling retro romance comics adventure. Today we explore the twisted, masochistic world of Hollywood stardom in the life of April O'Day, Hollywood Starlet!. This super-charged, two-parter is complete in this issue of Girls' Love Stories, No. 112, July, 1965 and despite its abundance of action-verbs, is weirdly not featured on the cover.

Instead, this rather mundane love-triangle tale of suburban heartache is featured, with blue-screen background (lazy illustration!). I don't know whose editorial decision this was but it was a poor one.

I mean, look at the inside-cover page of "Please Take My Heartbreak!" 

The horse-riding lunatic screeching "Fool!—Don't you know that his kisses are lies? LIES! LIES!" while crazily terrorizing the young couple with her black stallion on the beach of churning emotions would have made a great cover. Perhaps DC Comics didn't want to alienate its reading public with this sordid Hollywood morality tale. Even the title "Please Take My Heartbreak!" has the ring of hopeless masochism in it. Hey, lady, put your heartbreak in the file-cabinet of forgotten dreams and move on. Nobody's put on the planet to simply "take it away" from you, no matter how politely you ask.

So, where were we? Oh yes, Roy and April are aspiring movie stars, on the set of the new Jewel Lacey feature film. Jewel has it all, but for some reason she cannot accept the growing love between her acting underlings that blossoms on camera.

Great use of verbs throughout attempt to describe the rush of infatuation as Roy and April act out their small parts. April is crushed, seared, burned and finally feels her heart turn to ashes as Roy kisses her on the dance floor. She would make a great barbecue-cookbook writer. But wait, she also melts and whirls before the icy wave that is Jewel thrusts herself between them, breaking up the scene with one of her legendary temper tantrums. Exciting!

Nobody wants puppy-love eyes on her set (Jewel is a great role for Madonna, by the way, who's due a come-back on the big screen). Jewel has April and Roy thrown from the set, the director shrugs it off since she has final cast approval. She is all-powerful indeed, especially considering this takes place in 1965. I wonder how many young readers actually related to Jewel and hoped that one day, they would be the ones to throw actors off their movie sets?  Dreams!

April, her dreams of stardom smashed to smithereens, is understandably upset. But the girls back at the apartment throw her and Roy a wild beach party to cheer them up. There's even a portable record player on the sand for a round of swinging dance tunes. California is so awesome. Even the beaches have electrical outlets.

But April and Roy have their own remedy for curing misery and it involves burning lips for a fit of grilled-love fever.

But not so fast, kids! Jewel Lacey has a bone to pick with you from atop her juiced-up horsey.

cookie jar?

April decides to take the proactive approach and simpers her way toward Jewel's fabulous beach house, ready to beg for their roles in the movie.

that's not an ominous road, oh no...

This goes as well as can be expected. Jewel's dagger-like voice, demanding that April and Roy BEG for their jobs, causes foreground and background colors to change from orange to code red!

Meanwhile, back at the drive-in, April and Roy discuss their future careers while making out in triplicate. Roy is completely obsessed with the idea that it could be HIS face on the big screen, macking with a star as big as Jewel. April's uneasy heartbeats are mercilessly smothered by his lips. Sheesh, actors...

Over at Jewel's beach house, a glamorous shindig is taking place. April and Roy are invited to attend in order to suck up to Hollywood's best and brightest. There must be a catch! And there is. Jewel takes off with Roy and shoves April over to her own estranged lover, Gordon Dean. His pencil-thin mustache and white dinner-jacket are beacons of oiliness. Beware, April, beware! Hey, is that Debbie Reynolds over there by the indoor palm? Ooh!

April has trouble fantasizing about her future super-stardom without bringing herself down. "No Kisses For Me" on the marquee indeed. She wakes up from this would-be scenario of prostituting herself to Gordon and tears herself away to find Roy, who NO! appears to be making his own deal with the devil. The devil being Jewel, of course.

Even party attendants like apparent Steve Allen, Danny Thomas, and Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball cannot cheer April up at this point. Show business is a cruel mistress.

But don't worry! Outside on the beach of roiling emotions, who should come running along but formerly ambitious Roy. He claims he didn't prostitute himself either but we'll never know, will we? I mean, how long is he claiming he spent looking for April throughout the house? And who could focus on a nobody like April with the likes of apparent Danny Thomas on hand anyway?

Both lovers are crushed with shame and self-loathing before reclaiming their love and smashing their lips together once again. This can only help their acting. The waves pound the beach boulders for all of eternity and love is rekindled. For now.

Check out the artwork on this ad. WHAT is going on with their HANDS?!

Mutating horror-romance—I would buy that