Monday, December 14, 2009

Religious Candy Makes for Sweet Spirituality

We're on a candy cane jag around here. The sweet, pepperminty crooks of Christmas goodness are the perfect after-dinner mint as far as I'm concerned. Recently while strolling the aisles of Rite-Aid, I came across this display:

I was disappointed. SOMEONE had to go and ruin all my Christmas fun with their Jesus stuff. I have nothing against Jesus, but please, I want to enjoy my candy goodness without thinking about how he was tortured and hung on the cross to die, JUST THIS ONCE on Christmas. OK--so Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. No room at the inn, the kings and their gifts, some shepherds and farm animals and the big star in the sky--lovely story. But you can't really celebrate Jesus without the looming specter of his imminent demise haunting everything.

I never really bought the whole "he is arisen" thing, so that never cheered me in the least. I just couldn't help wondering what kind of dad would let his son perish so miserably just to prove a point. And how many people have truly risen from the dead anyway? None on my watch. I'm not making light of the story. It just tends to add a layer of heaviness to daily life. And candy.

According to this site, the candy cane legend is explained thusly:

Look at the Candy Cane
What do you see?
Stripes that are red
Like the blood shed for me

White is for my Savior
Who's sinless and pure!
"J" is for Jesus My Lord, that's for sure!

Turn it around
And a staff you will see
Jesus my shepherd
Was born for Me!

Not so! says rumor alleviater There's no connection between candy canes and Jesus. Just as I thought. And do you really think of Jesus when inundated with peppermint flavoring and artificial red food dye? I tend to think of chocolate, as in peppermint-flavored hot chocolate. It's like canes are the gateway holiday candy drug for me.

Speaking of chocolate, here's some religious candy molds so you can make praying hands and crucifix confections for your own spiritual sugar-rush fervor. What could be more uplifting that chocolaty praying hands?

Christian Dollar Store has even more Christian scripture candy, and plenty of pop-up ads if you're craving that sort of Internet fulfillment.

Milk chocolate crucifix--sure to be tasty. Don't bother counting calories, it's all good.

Mommy! These lollipops hurt my mouth! For those who would suffer for their candy fix.

Gnawing on one of these bracelets will get you through church service in seemingly no time at all.

Testamints sugar free gum, recommended by four out of five dentists who pray you have adequate insurance.

Fish-shaped mints. Sort of unappealing somehow.

But I would definitely go for the sours. They got me with that one. Lord, save me with sours!


mamiel said...

Had to laugh out loud at the "testamints".

I let the Christians have easter, but it really bothers me, too, when they try to drag Jesus into Christmas. Christmas is supposed to be fun, Jesus should not be allowed anywhere near that holiday.

Oh, Ok, I guess we should let the cute baby Jesus be part of it. I am always one over by the non-bloody, tortured Jesus.

Rachel said...

I'm sorry but I have to disagree. The only reason that Christmas is even a day people celebrate is because of Jesus. That's why it's called CHRISTmas. Because he was born and lived a sinless life and then by dying on the cross and raising from the dead people can be saved and have eternal life. I think that Jesus should definitely be involved in the Christmas holiday.

Anonymous said...

I have to disagree. The only reason Christmas is even a day is because idiots believe someone existed who could walk on water.