Northwest - I Ain't Missing You

I have to de-personalize my house to put it on the market today and as I take down the family photos and colorful little tchockes, let me just get through the moment by saying, "I ain't missing you, Northwest." And here's a list of everything I ain't missing. But first the musical accompaniment (if you can take it):

John Waite - Missing You
Uploaded by jpdc11. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

There. Now, let's get started:

Nature: My house is surrounded by giant trees that could crush me in half a second. They blow in the wind and house thousands of birds throughout the year. The squirrels run rampant from bough to roof and back again, burying nuts in our yard and hopping about in the tall grass. In any direction driving a half-hour to an hour away is an ocean, river, lake or multiple waterfalls. Plus a gorge with stunning vistas. I ain't missing you!

Kids: All you kids, running around and playing with my son, laughing, being innocent and having fun. And your school with its dedicated, hard-working staff and teachers and volunteer art program that allowed me to teach you art for the last two years, covering Matisse, Pollock, Warhol, Mucha, Escher and hand-carved carousel horses from the Italian artisans of the 19th century. I ain't missing you!

Portland: With all your distinct, interesting neighborhoods and architecture and neon signs, friendly people and culture up the wazoo. The delicious food, dessert treats, coffee and brews, who needs 'em? Your film festivals, low cost-of-living, altruism, love of theater, art and writing...I ain't missing you!

Peace and quiet: Overrated! I ain't missing you at all!

Burgerville: Your delicious cheeseburgers, sweet-potato fries and fresh, seasonal blackberry shakes cannot be replicated. I'll come back to visit you. But I ain't missing you! Oh no.

Later this week, I'll write about what I'll REALLY not miss. Every place has that list too, you know.

The Recession Makes Me Fighting Mad

It isn't fair! How many times have I stated that, deep within my mind where no one else will know I'm a self-pitying fool? OK, maybe a few times, tops. I'm kind of a throw-up-my-hands, intuitive type, I guess. But still, what are the odds that we would move to the Northwest with a new full-time job, nice little house, great little school, etc., only to have the recession kick in, lose that job, and then live in one of the worst areas of the U.S. for employment?

Well, I suppose it can happen to anyone and it has. So I don't take it really personally. But I'm still really PISSED about the greed, deregulation, corruption and stupidity that got us in this situation.

And I'll express that vicariously with these ridiculous fight scenes. Over-the-top absurdity? Yes! Like the quandary we find ourselves in, moving back to where we started from, to look for too-expensive, tiny housing next to train tracks in a broken-down state with a class-based public-school system and a constitution altered by popular vote to disallow gay marriage.

Am I ranting? Tomorrow I'll post some cheerful videos to balance everything out. Until then: AARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Take THAT, Recession!


Justice WILL prevail!


Or maybe it won't. Might take a few years...


Well, I have complete trust in our elected officials to handle it in a pragmatic, intelligent manner.

Pop Culture is Tired - Let's Watch a Waterfall

Recession, two wars, swine flu--you'd think pop culture would step it up to fill in the void, but nope. It's in a lull. Sorry, Lady Gaga, you just don't do it for me. What else has the media got...? [crickets chirping].

No problem. We're lucky to live close to nature and nature will always provide the wonder and awe that we're secretly missing. I can't do it any justice with my little camera but here's a nice waterfall for the day.

Go See: Coraline in 3D

I already wrote about "Coraline," the book and the movie. Today I went to a 3D matinee. I wore the funny glasses and everything. OMG. Just go, GO see "Coraline." It's one of the best things I've seen in a long, long time.

Remember when Terry Gilliam blew our minds with "Time Bandits" and "Brazil"? "Coraline" will do that to you as well. And you'll take your blown mind and you'll love it. Not only is it artful with amazing stop-motion puppet animation and set design, but it's also one of the most dreamlike films I've ever seen. And I usually don't go all crazy for voice artistry (other than appreciating a good cast in an animated film), but Dakota Fanning makes Coraline such a real girl in this film. I don't think the film would be as good without her talent.

It's true--I'm ga ga for "Coraline." Please, if there is a god of cinema, let LAIKA continue to astound and entertain us with their artistry, right here in overcast Oregon. Note: "Coraline" takes place in Eugene, OR with a short stop-over in Ashland, featuring a few Shakespearean Festival characters. Har!

Trailer (again)


And look! You can make a self-portrait with button eyes on the fantabulous Coraline site.

If you click around, you'll find some amazing behind-the-scenes videos of the making of the film, including an interview of the woman who knitted the tiny, tiny clothing that the puppets wear in the film (click on "films" and scroll through to find amazing art in the making).

Andrew Curtis' Time-lapse Oregon

Andrew Curtis makes amazing digital time-lapse images of Oregon. He's a machinest who made his own camera bracket so he could tilt and pan during time-lapse photography. He's also got a Flickr page. Marvelous.


Gorge Fog from Andrew Curtis on Vimeo.


Frozen Falls from Andrew Curtis on Vimeo.


Multnomah Falls in Miniature from Andrew Curtis on Vimeo.


Hawthorne Bridge #2 from Andrew Curtis on Vimeo.


Cinco De Mayo Carnival from Andrew Curtis on Vimeo.


PDX Evening Commute #2 from Andrew Curtis on Vimeo.

You've come to the right place for quality entertainment

It's been a long journey back to normality after the holiday. It started with a drive through record-breaking snow and ice along Interstate 205. Leaving Portland took nearly five hours over lumpy, broken ice, snow and busted chains. Very "Road Warrior." Later we found out that the freeway would be closed for the rest of the day while snowplows attempted to make it flat and drivable again. How interesting that there was no news of this at any time during our drive, even on the traffic radio station. As always, communication is key!

The next day consisted of driving for 12 hours in a complete downpour. Sheets of rain until we got to Concord where it wasn't even sprinkling. It was like an epic space opera of travel through different planetary ecosystems. As we neared our Christmas-eve destination, we knew two things were certain: presents were going under the tree, then we were going straight to bed. More holiday shenanigans to come. For now, enjoy the clowns of the animal world.

Yes, it's a dog jumping on a trampoline. You can thank me later.


A bulldog who's an expert skateboarder. Life isn't so bad!


A dog suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder. Har!

Proposition 8 Depresses / Silverton, Oregon Uplifts

Proposition 8's success in California left me heavy-hearted this week. I know it's going to Court and the fight will go on, but people: it's 2008. Time to recognize the rights of our friends and neighbors without bigotry and discrimination. Some couples would like to get married and it's wrong to stand in their way. If I believed in God, be assured that my God would approve of love and commitment among the ranks. Because my God wouldn't be AN IDIOT.

Here's a news story from "The Oregonian" that lifted my spirits. The citizens of Silverton have elected the nation's first openly transgendered mayor. Mayor Stu Rasmussen is a straight guy who wears women's clothes and has long hair and breast implants. He runs a movie theater, is a civic activist, and has lived in Silverton all his life. He says of his home town, "This is a warm, caring and accepting community and they judge people for who they are and what they stand for, not necessarily what they look like."

Congratulations to Mayor Rasmussen and to the 9,588 people of Silverton. I'm glad to get to know you a little this week.

Transgendered mayor

Source: Silverton gives its vote to transgendered mayor by Kimberly A.C. Wilson, "The Oregonian."

Northwest Road Tripping

Greetings from The Road. We headed over to Crater Lake National Park this week and through my camera-phone it looks like this:
That's Wizard Island sticking out of the extra-blue water. Isn't Wizard Island a cool name for a body of land? Crater Lake was formed over 7,000 years ago when super-active volcano, Mount Mazama (another cool name) blew up extensively. In fact, it blew so much that it imploded, creating a nearly 2,000-foot deep hole, sealed by lava and much devastation for hundreds of miles around.

Wizard Island was a lava dome that desperately tried to recreate the mighty mountain that once stood there, but ran out of magma before that could happen. A squirrel visits on occasion, stowed away in a backpack full of trail mix.
After the hole filled with water, we have a lake to marvel at. No fish ever lived here, so a hundred years ago, some frustrated fishermen smuggled some into the water from their backpacks(?). The only survivors of five species are some salmon and steelhead trout. The salmon try to swim upstream to spawn, but there is no upstream, so they swim around the lake in circles, probably the most sexually frustrated fish on the planet. Then they get eaten by the trout. The rangers would love it if you came to Crater Lake with your fishing gear and put the fish out of their misery.
Wild!
We also visited Trees of Mystery in Klamath, CA, but the rain, fog, and mist were so heavy, we only went to the Native American museum (indoors and quite extensive) before moving on. This giant statue of Paul Bunyon (with his ox, Babe) actually speaks and waves to you as you enter. That's some rustic customer service.

Here's an old hand-painted map that shows our progress as we headed south. Starting from Portland:
And heading toward Crescent City, CA, where our Motel 8 supplied us with the ambient sounds of a foghorn, 60-year-old yuppie bikers bragging about their rides, and sea lions going: ORK! ORK! ORK! throughout the night. I'll take foghorns and sea lions over loud and narcissistic baby-boomers on motorcycles ANY time.
The Avenue of the Giants--home to many a bear carved from a tree trunk. Before conservationists, there were loggers. The loggers, who were macho and very skilled with an axe, loved to cut up the big trees and make them into houses, tunnels, driveways, animals, and gift shops. They did leave some behind to grow, so you get some impressive forms of nature to drive through.
This hollowed out tree-house is probably worth half a million in the California market. If it were located in Oregon, it would be a fine starter home at 300K.
Arcata inspires a little crazy dancing.

The Woodsman Country Lodge - Now With New Log Decor

If you're traveling to Crater Lake, OR, your overnight accommodations are limited. Luckily Keith found The Woodsman Country Lodge in Crescent. I think you'll detect a bit of a theme developing here, but the room was large and clean and unlike so many roadside motels--had lots of character(s). Photo essay as follows.

I wish I had a close-up of this woodsman guy. He's like an ancient idol, overlooking the truck-route below. The sign promises free wireless/new log decor. What a perfect melding of new and old.
This guy guarded our room--my favorite forest creature!
You totally want some cocktails now, don't you?
Still-life with mug.
Where's the bathroom? Let the moose-light show you the way.
Our shower curtain was like the call of the wild but we forgot to pack our shotguns. Nothing says "fishing" like lucite-encased lures in your toilet seat.
Moose towel? Moose dryer? Moose lotion dispenser? The bathroom decor must have all came from the same catalog.
Jackson said, "This must be the hotel room with the most deer in it." And outside of it too. Our blanket was covered with bears, as was the wall clock.
Lee Friedlander inspired shot. Self-portrait with otter holding a fish.
Next stop: Crater Lake.

Weekend Report: Fairy Falls, Sweltering Heatwave, and Jesse Sykes Too

Jesse Sykes and The Sweet Hereafter played a fine show at the Doug Fir Lounge this weekend. Shades of Neil Young & Crazy Horse, Emmylou Harris (both Harris and Sykes have great hair), and Sykes' own raspy unique folk-rock style combined with Phil Wandscher's dreamy jam-space-rock guitar made for a sweet evening. Laurie loved the Doug Fir, and said it reminded her of Frontierland at Disneyland. I agree--with its log-cabin aesthetic and acoustics, the Bear Country Jamboree would sound great in there.

Like, Love, Lust


Station Grey


We were slightly Popsicled(tm) by the high-powered central AC, which is saying something considering Portland weather was in the high 90s. The next day, the Columbia Gorge was over 100 degrees as we drove along the Historic Columbia River Highway to visit some cold, shady waterfalls.

After visiting the rugged spectacular weirdness that is Latourell Falls, we decided to trek the mile up the Wahkeena Falls Trailhead to see Fairy Falls. This was ambitious on such a hot day, with a six-year-old along for the walk, but Keith had good directions from Michael Skourtes' Oregon Foto Blog, so we went on up. It was HAWT. But as you climb you do get a really great view of the Gorge, and then to the top of Wahkeena Falls, which is like a giant, fan-shaped shower that sprays you with the most wonderfully cooling mist. We along with a dozen other hikers just hung out there, smiling blisfully as the water crashed around us.

Continuing on, you finally enter a forested canyon that's probably at least 15 degrees cooler than the rest of the trail. Here you walk along Wahkeena's rushing creek. It gets really rocky and you can finally peek up at Fairy Falls through the fallen trees across the rocks and water. One more switchback and you're there:

I didn't bring my camera this time. The photo is from Waterfalls of the Pacific Northwest. Fairy Falls is truly a magical place and we stayed there quite a while, splashing around and staring at its fountain-like beauty.

I told Laurie that the last time we visited the Gorge, we came across the film crew that was finishing up their shoot of "The Road." They were helping hikers down the narrow, muddy path to Latourell Falls between takes. When we got down to the viewpoint at the bridge, I realized that the star standing in front of the falls, behind bushy beard and homeless-guy attire, was Viggo Mortensen. It was the closest moment I'll probably ever have to living in Middle Earth, with Aragorn standing in a most New Zealand-like setting. No such vision at Fairy Falls, but watching Jackson dance around like a pixie in the water was pretty fantastical as well.

Multnomah Falls was completely over the top with humanity as usual, but the view from the bridge was even more spectacular due to the sun shining through the walls of mist, creating not one but two giant rainbows to the left of the falls. Bliss! And ice cream from the concession stand at the bottom.

The Atheist Who Came To Dinner

Oregonian columnist, Margie Boulé, recently wrote about Billie Sieg, an 80-year-old resident of Brookings, OR, who tried to join her local Elks club. Sieg had attended several social events with her friends who are members, and wanted to join in order to mingle with her peers in a non-tavern setting.

The Elks club is a private organization that requires its members to believe in God but during her interview, she didn't want to lie, so when asked, Sieg said no, she didn't believe in God. Within days, she received a rejection letter from the Elks who not only barred her from joining, but also denied her access to any social function as a guest, even though she had already attended several functions in the past.

OK, first of all: Ass Holes. Second of all: fine, keep the atheists out of your membership--but to not even allow an atheist as a GUEST? That's not very Christian charitable of you, Elks club. I guess it's just too threatening to allow other thought processes that might pollute your perfect eco-system of supernatural worshippers. I'm experiencing steam coming out of my ears, like a cartoon character; an atheist cartoon character. I'm guessing Bugs Bunny is an atheist. Possibly Daffy Duck as well.

Who else swims in the atheist pool? Anyone of note out there?

Ricky Gervais, creator and star of the original The Office; and Extras explains his argument with God in BestLife magazine.

Julia Sweeney, former SNL cast member, has mass-produced her one-woman show, Letting Go of God, into a CD, a film and DVD, book and blog. Good career move.

I'm taking a lucky guess and saying George Carlin is an atheist. Yup, he is.

Who else among us sees God as an illusion and cannot attend a buffet luncheon at the Elks club in Brookings, OR?
Lance Armstrong
Dave Barry
Noam Chomsky
Brian Eno
Penn & Teller
Harvey Fierstein (I knew it!)
Jodie Foster (I knew it!)
Christopher Hitchens (duh)
Angelina Jolie (interesting)
Diane Keaton
Barry Manilow (I love him)
Patton Oswalt
Gore Vidal
Ron Reagan Jr.
Keanu Reeves (surprising)
Howard Stern (not surprising)
Joss Whedon
Salman Rushdie
Eddie Vedder (Eddie!)
Gloria Steinam

And who in the past would have been banned from attending a dinner dance within the sacred Elks club of Brookings, OR?
Abraham Lincoln
Albert Einstein
Aldous Huxley
Isaac Asimov
Charles Darwin (duh)
Benjamin Franklin
Carl Sagan
Freidrich Nietzsche
Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)
George Bernard Shaw
Richard Feynman
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Ingmar Bergman
Helen Keller
James Madison
John Adams
Frank Lloyd Wright
John Lennon
Sigmund Freud
Oscar Wilde
Susan B. Anthony
Vincent Van Gogh
Robert Frost

Robert Frost once said, "It's God--I'd have known Him by Blake's picture anywhere." (might be a good answer if you're ever trying to ace an Elks club interview).

Sources: The Last Bias: Elks lodge bans a woman because she's an atheist
Celebrity Atheist List
Famous Atheists

Oregon Gets With the Times

One thing Oregon regularly gets wrong is the weather. Rarely, if ever, is the weather report right around here. It's not anyone's fault (I think). It's what they call variable conditions within several micro-climates. For instance, today's paper said there would be "some rain" (there's also variable media statements regarding the forecast of rain, including: showers, some showers, a little rain, a little afternoon rain, etc.) As I check out the handy window here, I see that it's snowing quite heavily. Well, that's how it goes lately.

But Oregon got something very right this week. Starting this Monday, if you're gay and you and your partner want to form a domestic partnership--you can! This gives you most, if not all of the same legal rights as married couples. Right on, U.S. District Judge Michale Mosman for rejecting a potential lawsuit that would have blocked the current domestic partnership law. Congratulations to local gay-rights advocates for all your hard work on this issue. And for those who are planning to appeal: Squashing your fellow citizens' civil rights puts you in league with the devil (speaking in Biblical terms). Enjoy the eternal damnation!

Domestic Partnership forms are available online at Oregon.gov.

Attention Train Nerds

A couple of weeks ago we rode the Holiday Express train--the Southern Pacific Daylight X4449--along the Willamette River for a 45-minute tour (with Santa aboard). We researched the weather to find the one sunny day this month and we went for it. Built in 1941 and retired in 1957, the SP4449 took passengers from Los Angeles to San Francisco in style. It's considered by many to be the most beautiful steam engine ever to run the rails.

I have to admit: it's exciting to ride a steam engine. It's all that puffy steam and the haunting sound of the train whistle and the clickety clack sounds as you pass from car to car. The SP4449 was donated to Portland a few decades ago and is still looking for a permanent home. Volunteers keep her running. I found a nice YouTube video of her as she glides past a Northwest train crossing. Listen to me! I'm like an old codger. Steam trains will possess you!

source

Oregon Sure is Pretty

Some photos from October, 2007. We drove along the Columbia Gorge Scenic Highway to partake in some waterfall watching. The fall foliage was amazing and long-lived this year and we wanted to soak up all its ambiance within a 35-mile range of our home. We were foliage-greedy.




My parents visited us and we insisted that they enfold themselves into the cramped back seat of our car so we could drag them to the Portland Japanese Garden for another foliage-soak. It was worth the claustrophobic drive. This is my favorite garden ever. So peaceful and artistically tended.

Trees and More Trees

Quickly, I'll throw up (nice imagery) some photos from our move and landing here in Washington. The couch on the sidewalk was in front of our rental in Oakland. Oh, whither Oakland! It makes me sad to see our garbage piled up, ready for the truck to haul it away, just before we hauled ourselves away, but I definitely won't miss that couch. Our new couch comes Wednesday and I'll be posting photos of that as well. Kidding! But I should--it's stylish.

That's our back yard in the last photo. Those trees actually belong to the city but they're letting us use them in the yard--nice! The waterfall belongs to Oregon.

Road Trip--Waterfall Alley

On Labor Day we drove along the Historic Columbia River Highway to check out some waterfalls. Ever since we stepped foot in Vancouver people have asked us, "Have you seen the Gorge? Have you been to the Gorge?" Our answer, a sheepish, "Not yet." I've personally been very busy organizing my cult film books and measuring for window treatments. Sensing the urgency of the situation (how often do you get to live by one of the most beautiful spots on earth?), we visited the Columbia River Gorge. It's 30 minutes from our house. I'm not bragging--just letting you know.

There are many waterfalls along this drive and you just park, get out of your car and see them. Some are a short hike from the highway. Others spill into pools a few feet from your car. We managed to get to four of them in one afternoon and they were all spectacular. I'm talking: jaw-droppingly beautiful. Jackson kept saying, "This is a-MAZING! It's so pretty!" throughout the day. And he was absolutely right. Here are some stock photos I found. I didn't get permission and I haven't tried to upload Photoshop on my new computer yet (those cult film books have kept me very busy), so they're big. Sorry. The better to gasp at nature's bounty.

Here's the Historic Highway, established (I believe) in 1917 for the enjoyment of vacationing car-drivers, world-wide. Over the years, some major Oregon industrialists donated their waterfalls to the park. Thanks guys! It's strange to think that someone can actually "own" a waterfall. It's kind of laughable but not in a good way.
Latourell Falls. There's some really fluorescent moss growing all around the top of the rock face. And a very "Lord of the Rings" kind of pool at the bottom. Much of Oregon reminds me of Middle Earth. I think it's the tremendous plant life all around. It makes the air really good and maybe we're getting a little too much oxygen when we breathe around here. There's a lot of spirituality and general freakiness in the area. Could be the oxygen; could be isotopes. Could be geological activity just below the surface of the earth, creating some electromagnetic fields. What was I talking about...? Oh--check out THESE falls:
Multnomah Falls. BIG--620 feet down. Here's a photo from 1920 with the Lodge in front (still there, in case you want an ice cream or a latte before you head up to the bridge for a better view). We would have felt dwarfed by all the natural wonder except for the 60,000 people walking along with us to see it. Better to go on a week day.

The other falls were not as well-attended, but still popular. I'm going back after a big rainfall and see what kind of water droplets ensue.

Vacation Haiku

Have you heard? Haiku is HOT! Well, maybe not HOT, but definitely long-term in usage. And easy to get through. Since we visited so many areas on our 9-day vacation, I thought I'd review in Haiku.

Eugene, OR
Playgrounds are bitchin'
and the bad part of town is
only six blocks long


Eugene Friend
Standard black poodle
lives in fabulous 50s
house; brings us shoes. Gus


Recumbent Bikes
Sit down, like a chair
Lean back and relax cowboy
You are one fast geek.

 
Corvallis, OR
Picturesque and quaint
White people work at HP
and study Buddha


Salem, OR
The state capitol
Awesome children's museum
Strip malls and porn shops

 
Portland
Whoa! This city rocks
Where has it been all my life?
Please sign me up now


Portland Japanese Garden
Gravel, plants, water
Falls, streams, bridges, quiet paths
Favorite by far


Powell's Books
Gazillions of books
like some kind of book heaven
Whole Foods is nearby


Seattle
Jimi Hendrix and
Streetwise and heroin chic
Oh, and Space Needle

 
Pike's Market
Throw the fish upward
Balloon man makes a kitty
Ferries trawl the waves


My Uncle's Restaurant
Machiavelli's
It's at 1215 Pine Street
garlic sautéed greens


Vancouver
Relatives greet us
with affection and cheese cake
Canada is best