Apologies for the late reply...

I have been so busy working on art the past few years, I have truly let this poor blog slide into Internet oblivion. Don't think it hasn't weighed heavily on my brain cells, dear readers. It has haunted me vaguely for a long while now. All my energies are pouring out in the art world here for the most part, and also here, due to political unrest in the U.S. And in this blog here.

Just on a whim, between bouts of anxiety over COVID-19, otherwise known as the Coronavirus—not the flu—stay informed! I happened to check out my "comments pending" page herein. And guess what? There were a lot (for me) of comments pending. I'm so sorry I let your comments pend for so long! Yeesh, truly this was a lapse in attention on my part.

My excuse is that for a very long time, there were no comments pending, except for the occasional spam-bot urging me to begin a lucrative business venture, and so I just gave up on ever receiving any comments. Sad! But I'm energized now. Your three years (!) worth of commentary has given me LIFE and for that I thank you, commenters. You are golden, and reading through all your thoughts has made today a lovely one.

Writers who gave up on publishing for filthy lucre (that would be me) and stuck to blogging for a long time, tend to write in a vacuum and although I happily would continue writing in a vacuum 'til the end of time, I dove back into the visual-making world and that takes a lot of time to figure out and master. I will be writing here again because I promised a Part 2 of my trip to eastern Canada and I never delivered and I so want to finish that because I really loved eastern Canada and I want other people to experience that part of the world. I mean, it took me decades to get there, which is crazy. It's far, but not THAT far. I mean, it's not like Antarctica. Anyway, that's on my list of THINGS TO DO.

Meanwhile, enjoy the day. Wash your hands. Avoid large crowds for the moment (subject to change), and make sure you're registered to vote and you know where and how to vote in your state (for U.S. voters—but good advice for any democracy). It's vitally important to get ethical and hard-working government in place on the Federal AND local levels, so jump in there, members of the Republic and make it a Democracy of the People once more. Love to you all. I'll be back.

Li'l comic I threw together recently, just for fun.

My funniest Facebook comment-war thanks to the Cocks Not Glocks protest

I'll explain: thanks to the "campus carry" gun policy backed and enforced by Texas governor Greg Abbott, it's legal to bring a licensed gun onto any Texas campus and right into the classroom. Yet the University of Texas at Austin's student handbook bans the "distributing" and "brandishing" sex toys.

Noting the absurd discrepancy, One Pulse for America student activists Jessica Jin and Ana Lopez staged a clever Cocks Not Glocks demonstration this week. They handed out hundreds of dildos to their fellow students, who brandished them in their classrooms and throughout the campus with impunity. Just like their open-carry gun-toting brethren.

This of course got mass-media attention and will probably lead to one of two results—either campus officials will take this open-carry battle to the highest federal court because their state insists they allow guns in their classrooms, whether they want them there or not (and if I know most college professors, the answer to that is probably not), or the college will shrug its collective shoulders and say, "Okay, okay, you made your point—you can go ahead and carry dildos around campus too. Enjoy, kids."

Anyway, the .Mic news site made a great little video about the photo-op-rich rally and I commented to the UT activists a positive little message of support, because you can imagine the backlash they're getting from gun-toters who find sex toys "obscene." I got some brush-back for my effort. And I'm amused. So I saved it here, because let's face it, campus carry laws are not the best policy, and also Facebook is so rarely amusing.

See for yourself. My original comment, "Hilarious and insightful. Keep up the good work," is at the top, followed by the following exchange:

Mark Davidson thinks that if he writes "you failed to make a point or a joke," it is so, when the reality is very different. His deep denial aside, he set the pointed joke up with his own argument and it is PERFECTION.

Here's a screen shot of some of the video points from the .Mic video. The original is here.

Now these activists have made their point and it's funny and true. Keep up the good work, ladies.

I wrote some stuff - other people worked on stuff too - links

Hi Internet—I've been writing a lot (and rewriting even more). Here's something about writing I never realized before: it gives you a fat ass. I have to go work on that, but first here's a few links of my work and the works of others as well. If you're so inclined:

Bad Movies - Issue 2 (the cult issue) - one of those labors of love. Cass Wall, editor in chief compiles the work that the world throws his way. This issue has my "Meditations for the Modern World" (pg. 44)—a helpful and very short guide to navigating your brain within the confines of our narcissistic reality-TV pop app landscape—newly photo-illustrated by moi. You can read the digital copy free, and/or purchase a very affordable paper publication here. A digital copy for viewing is also available here. Lots of cool essays, humor, comics, coloring pages and a Freudian Film Theory word search puzzle. That's a winning combination.

Here's the Bad Movies Tumblr.

Hey, I have a Tumblr dumping ground too - Dancing Bugs


And for Bright Wall/Dark Room I wrote an essay on Martin Scorsese's Casino, a dark film that I did a little work on, back in the day. I never got to work directly with Marty (maybe someday), but I helped out Matte World Digital while they made some amaze-o 70s-era Las Vegas strip casino shots. The thing is, you have to buy the issue for $1.99 (a steal!), or subscribe to the magazine for a year (twenty dollars—you won't be sorry!), but it's probably worth it, given the width and breadth of content you'll receive. Thoughtful essays, tons of themes, lots of movies. Teaser is here: "Watching Casino, Twenty Years Later." 

Here's the Bright Wall/Dark Room site.


I was just now wondering, whatever happened to Santigold, and I see she released a single yesterday, and record-release news. That's good timing. Wow, her site is A TRIP.


Did you ever get around to purchasing She Mob's latest, Right in the Head ? Still time. I have some footage around here somewhere from our recent Halloween show at a Berkeley preschool. That's one for the ages. They're all one for the ages.


Follow me on twitter. (I read this tech article that said the best way to encourage people to follow you on twitter is to use a directive, so follow me on twitter, dammit. Dammit, you better follow me. On twitter. Do it. The article said this would work.)

It's my birthday so I mopped the floor

The floor is now clean for my birthday celebration which consists of writing a second draft of an essay I worked on all last weekend. The life of a writer, ladies and gentlemen. That's what I wanted. At least the floor's clean.

I kept putting off a poetry post for April, which is always National Poetry Month, and now it's May and it's too late for poetry, dammit! I've always gone all out for National Poetry Month. I'll have to ruminate fixedly for a belated post. Life's a poem, people! Until that moment arrives, enjoy the poetry of Christopher Lindstrom—greatness.

This blog, like me, is aging--ten years young. In ten years, I've grown a lot, learned a lot, ignored mopping the floor a lot. That's all going to change, starting today, starting here and now. Because the floor is mopped and ready for bare feet without sticking. Because I also vacuumed half the house (last week) and only have the other half to do. Because that essay isn't going to rewrite itself, so I better get writing.

I'll write up a post of our April travels, which included a magical family reunion in stunningly livable San Diego, a revisit to Bodie, sledding in April during an unprecedented drought, and the incredible weirdness that is the Trona Pinnacles. Until then, thanks for ten years of blogtastic blogging on blogger.

San Diego - I'm on the right, wearing plaid, probably thinking about ice cream

I'm on vacation, writing poetry, and riding a monorail for good measure

Whilst traveling through the Northwest, I'm on a wee computer vacation as well. But I'm attempting to write a poem a day for National Poetry Month and something called NaPoWriMo, which is basically writing a poem a day, the Internet way.

If you're partial to poetry, and who isn't, link on over to my other blog, Your Daily Tree, and celebrate the beauty of words, images and whatever else comes along through my brain. Currently, I'm focusing on my Northwest trip, so Crater Lake, waterfalls, and Dorris, California have gotten mentions. AS IT SHOULD BE.

Happy Spring Break, all.

Inspirational Images and Quotes for Your Facebook Wall

Facebook—everybody's doing it! Your neighbor down the street, that girl who sat behind you in Algebra II in 1980, some guy you knew in third grade, your cousin from Denton—that about covers it. And it seems like they're all sharing inspirational images and quotes on your wall. Well, don't just sit there—join in!

I've made some inspirational images and quotes for you to share with your loved ones and acquaintances on Facebook. Please do so as compulsively as possible. I have an inexplicable need to spread my special messages far and wide! Won't you spam, I mean SLATHER my message-images so that I can pat myself on the back without actually accomplishing anything? Thanks!

Here ya go!

Spiritual!

 Patriotic!

 New Age!

Thought Provoking!

Personal!

Animated Cat GIFs Because I Like Attention

The Internet and cats—an endless love affair! Posting these animated cat gifs will put me on the path of winning worldwide popularity and soon my future as an international tastemaker will be assured. I'd much rather focus on that than admit that I've gathered these gifs and am profiting from them here, even though I had nothing to do with their creation. It's not about creation, but aggregation. And branding. And SEO. And diagonal venture-market-Web 2.0-building. And cute widdle whiskers.

Business Cat - this reminds me of a dream I had where my cat got a job at Walgreen's, but every time customers asked him questions, he just sat, staring and blinking at them from behind the counter.



Have you ever had an imperfect customer-service interaction? Perhaps this is why:



A cat gambling addiction is a serious matter. But oh so cute.



Cat space jump is good for yet another WTF moment.



Cat with rats peaceable kingdom gif.



Maru is probably the most famous cat on the Internet and with good reason. He's the Cary Grant of cats.



This dumb pre-Internet guy I once semi-dated claimed that cats were incapable of having facial expressions. How Wrong He Was.






Oh, cats. Don't ever change!






Thank you, Internet.

More Images for Ultimate Search-Engine Optimization

Here at Captive Wild Woman dot blogspot dot com, it's all about the content. Why, I started out as a content provider back in 1997 when the Internet was a young whippersnapper, and I never stopped providing it. Even though the title "content provider" is but a quaint memory on the abandoned business cards of days past, that doesn't mean I have to stifle my content-providing soul. And although most every Internet job I've ever had is now obsolete, blowing down the silicon-valley memory lanes like so many wadded-up-paper tumbleweeds, I like to keep a fresh perspective.

Where was I? Oh yes, search-engine optimization. It's still going strong, keeping the Internet vital, dynamic, "grabby," and lucrative, if you know all the correct statistical analysis and buzzwords. Some things will never change. Let's open the image vault and see what pounces out at us. Your content will shine with the right image for ultimate search optimization!

It's a...potholder loom & loops! Sorry, let's try again. Let me just rummage about here a little more...

A divorce cake! You never know when you might need this. Looks tasty too.

Brangelina! This was my favorite Photoshopped image of 2012 because it actually improves upon the original in a fresh, new, and exciting way. And although I can't properly credit the maker, I tip my hat to the ingenuity, focus and drive that went into creating this top-notch celebrity portrait.

Suggestive cactus is just what the name implies: suggestive.

This mid-century Del Monte ad is like Mad Men on acid, which coincidentally did feature an acid trip or two during its current season. Hey, do you think this ad was originally inspired by...NAH!

Do you remember what this is? Click "like" if you know what this image—wait, this isn't Facebook. Sorry, what nonsense. Who would fill their Facebook wall with such a thing? Would YOU?

John Waters is posing with a Bratz doll. What would entice him to do this? We all know he's more of a Monster High kind of guy.

Toddlers & Tiaras featuring Honey Boo Boo Chile and her mom. Look, I'm sorry. I need the hits. The fact that this will give me hits is on YOU, world. Not me.

Joan Rivers and Bret Michaels throwing gang signs because winning Celebrity Apprentice is so freaking awesome.

Kim Kardashian is crying. There there, Kim. It will be all right. Do not cry. It is too hard for your face to move in that way.

Look! I has a corm! Life is beautiful.

Vagina - It's not a clown car. I want to keep it classy around here. And I like to use the word vagina once in a while.

DAMN GURL...YOU OKAY? will never not be relevant in some way. Eminem is such an artist in this shot. Look at his expression, his body language. Sensitive.

Rush Limbaugh hobnobbing with his fat-cat friends is what life is all about.

Yes indeedy, this is Internet. 

What Would Mifune Do?

That's right: WWMD? Toshiro Mifune, muse of master director Akira Kurosawa, was an all-time great movie star, sensitive actor and screen icon. If you haven't sat down to watch a Kurosawa film starring Mifune—I don't know what you're waiting for. Life is short. Get to it. Your starting points to the filmography of excellence: Drunken Angel, Stray Dog, Rashomon, Seven Samurai, The Hidden Fortress, High and Low, Throne of Blood, Yojimbo, and Sanjuro. Classic stuff.

Having watched a lot of these films in the past couple decades, I started imagining true-life scenarios featuring Mifune. Of course, my true life and his film life might seem worlds apart, but his spirited approach to problem and conflict resolution hold up. And if only I could move like a cat and be as cool as Mifune. Take a journey with me into my mundane existence, as filtered through thoughts of Mifune.

This blog needs updating. My mind is churning but I will sit here reading my twitter feed until something jumps out at me.

Twitter is useless today. I've spent an hour clicking on links and I'm no closer to accomplishing anything. Al Jazeera News is particularly disturbing. I'll skip those posts. I will not write about 'Mad Men.' Everyone and their mother is writing about 'Mad Men.' If 'Mad Men' was cancelled, what would all these people write about?

I've checked the 'fridge. We're almost out of milk. I have to go to the grocery store. But I don't want to drive. I want to ride my bike. It's so difficult to carry a jug of milk on a bike. But it's a "spare the air" day and the store is only a mile-and-a-half away. I will go! Some relevant thought will come to me and I'll post something here later.

Milk is frickin' expensive. I should try to get a job again. At least the blog pays a bit in grocery bills every month. But not if I don't post anything on it! I want some light-weight hiking shoes for when I walk in the hills. That's $80 spent right there. Fuck it. I have birthday money. I'll get the milk after.

Shoes are 10% off today! These are great shoes and they allow my feet to breathe on hot days. Hey-oh! Now how will I carry them and the milk on my bike? If I put all my energy into it, I'll find a way!

Yet still, nothing on the blog. In a way, I've failed. But I have some great shoes, some milk, and avocados were on sale for a dollar each, so in some respects, on my terms, I have succeeded.

I am trapped within my existence and I make of it what I will.

Ahh, the writing mind. Does anyone even read my writing? Or do they just come here for the images? I know the answer but I don't want to admit it to myself!

Ultimately, these are merely pixels on a virtual plane, and we are specks in an unknowing universe. Therefore, I dance. To move with intent is joyful!


As for the blog...what would Mifune do?