Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Toys that poop

I have got to direct some traffic to this blog. My numbers are plummeting in the clogged sea of information that is the Internet. It's like that plastic island the size of Texas in the middle of the Pacific Ocean--who will find my tiny bottle-cap of a site in all that non-biodegradable garbage? So while I work on my brilliant plan for Internet domination, here are toys that poop. And pee. Enjoy, and ignore the stink of desperation.

Goliath Games makes pooping a competitive sport. You win by collecting doggie's doo. Good self-esteem builder.

Even better in German - Kackel Dackel.

Leave it to Barbie to focus on the worst aspect of pet ownership: body waste. Tanner eats and shits the same substances. Brilliant, Mattel, brilliant!

Uh-oh, peeing puppies. With the death of newspapers, how will we train them now?

Miko's thirsty and you get to litter-box train her. It's great being a girl!

Hours of fun.

Magic Potty Baby. It certainly seems magical how a toilet works (hey, great idea for a toy), but this doll focuses on other kinds of inner workings.

I'm really sorry about this one. I need the links but my soul has definitely entered a dark place of no return. Forgive me.

Don't forget farting! It's muy importante!

Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow would like to step in now and try to class up this joint. Just add milk pellets.

Lest we forget: saliva.


Apuleius Platonicus said...

That last one is a keeper. If you really want to get more traffic focus on "toys that lick"!!!

Miss Lisa said...

I just know the toy executives at Mattel must have at one time conversed thusly:

Toy Exec 1: I hate all women, and therefore girls as well!

Toy Exec 2: Me too! I just want their money!

Toy Exec 1: Same here! What can we develop that will humiliate them and still get us their money?

Toy Exec 2: How about toy pets for Barbie that shit and piss!

Toy Exec 3: HAW HAW HAW! You're killing me! Wait a minute...it just might work. Plus I hate Barbie's guts!

Toy Exec 1: Me too! Let her pick up dog shit!


The Toy Executives continue laughing all the way to the bank. The End.

Tuckers said...

The green pooing doll is just so unnecessary. What are they trying to do train children to be into scat when they grow up? I can imagine a secondary market for scat obsessed infantafiles too. Ugh!