Monday, May 08, 2006

Just Another Celebrity Blog

These are heady times. Our country is fighting a war over weapons that don't exist. Our president is a sociopath without the ability to effectively lead a poodle on a leash, much less a world super-power. Avian Bird Flu has landed in New Jersey and is about to become a made-for-TV movie. And Angelina Jolie is a U.N. goodwill ambassador and fighting for children’s education throughout the world. I bet Danny Glover would kill for that job, but it was offered to Angelina and she stepped up to the plate. Now the woman who would wear a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck will tend to the world’s ills. We wish her well on her journey of self-, er, world-discovery. The other night when I was wide awake between the hours of 3 and 4:30 a.m. (even the MacArthur Freeway is quiet then), I couldn’t stop thinking of baby names for Brangelina’s upcoming offspring, which is set to debut this month. This sad little window to my mind merited the following entries. I really care about the world!

Scarlet Runner Bean Jolie-Pitt (kind of pays homage to several celebrity names and it’s a fine legume besides)

Jandek Obscura Jolie-Pitt (going for some indie-music cred here)

WFMU KFJC Jolie-Pitt (cool college radio indie-cred--the kind Brad Pitt yearned for before he joined Angelina in her bid to save the world)

Yo La Tengo Jolie-Pitt (ditto)

Not Jennifer Aniston’s Child Jolie-Pitt (just to really rub it in)

Ayn Rand (for a girl)
Atlas Shrugged (boy) - great promotion if the two decide to star in the rumored film of the book.

Landor Associates Jolie-Pitt (corporate sponsorship baby--I thought of it first)

Jim (it’s weird but I think it works)

Maybe this week the couple will be blessed with a genetically endowed baby. Good luck Angelina. Giving birth is very cool. Stay hydrated. Know that in my insomniac state, I think of you...


susu said...

You are truly messed up. Just because YOU didn't "get" Brad Pitt back when you had the chance, doesn't mean you have to be Greenwich Mean TIme, girl/

your friend susu

Lisa Mc said...

Brad Pitt was a frat boy who has been trying to be cool ever since "Thelma and Louise" made his butt a star. I really have a crush on David Foster Wallace, if you must know...