These are heady times. Our country is fighting a war over weapons that don't exist. Our president is a sociopath without the ability to effectively lead a poodle on a leash, much less a world super-power. Avian Bird Flu has landed in New Jersey and is about to become a made-for-TV movie. And Angelina Jolie is a U.N. goodwill ambassador and fighting for children’s education throughout the world. I bet Danny Glover would kill for that job, but it was offered to Angelina and she stepped up to the plate. Now the woman who would wear a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck will tend to the world’s ills. We wish her well on her journey of self-, er, world-discovery. The other night when I was wide awake between the hours of 3 and 4:30 a.m. (even the MacArthur Freeway is quiet then), I couldn’t stop thinking of baby names for Brangelina’s upcoming offspring, which is set to debut this month. This sad little window to my mind merited the following entries. I really care about the world!
Scarlet Runner Bean Jolie-Pitt (kind of pays homage to several celebrity names and it’s a fine legume besides)
Jandek Obscura Jolie-Pitt (going for some indie-music cred here)
WFMU KFJC Jolie-Pitt (cool college radio indie-cred--the kind Brad Pitt yearned for before he joined Angelina in her bid to save the world)
Yo La Tengo Jolie-Pitt (ditto)
Not Jennifer Aniston’s Child Jolie-Pitt (just to really rub it in)
Ayn Rand (for a girl)
Atlas Shrugged (boy) - great promotion if the two decide to star in the rumored film of the book.
Landor Associates Jolie-Pitt (corporate sponsorship baby--I thought of it first)
Jim (it’s weird but I think it works)
Maybe this week the couple will be blessed with a genetically endowed baby. Good luck Angelina. Giving birth is very cool. Stay hydrated. Know that in my insomniac state, I think of you...