Ahhgh! Slugs!

Today I write about some of the weird/creepy things about living here. So far the honeymoon has lasted three weeks, but that fourth week is when you really start to notice your surroundings for what they are: good and bad. So far, not so bad.

Let's see...we live at the end of a street surrounded by city property full of giant trees, grasses, birds and ground squirrels: good. Sometimes teen-agers traipse through and toss their garbage around in this undeveloped terrain: bad. It's easy for me to go back there and do a clean up though: good. Some kids (some really strong kids) brought some big, splintery, nail-ridden wooden pallets over to our area and tried to make a fort out of them: bad. Pallets make terrible forts, especially if you don't nail them together. If you just lean them in a half-box formation, they're bound to fall over on you: more bad. I dragged them over to some god-forsaken corner of our 3-block lot behind the house: good. But in doing so, I noticed a household directly behind us, who also don't have a back fence, and their side yard is literally covered in garbage; a big mountain of garbage, all leaning up against their house with a big sign on it that says: rats and other vermin welcome here (practically): very bad. The trees hide this house from view: good. Just don't ever walk through the trees.

While I was walking through the trees, a boy of about 10 practically bumped into me, walking in the opposite direction. "What are you doing here?," I asked him. He said, "I'm looking for a box." Guiltily, since I just dumped the big pallets against a nearby tree, I said, "I haven't seen any boxes around here." Whereupon he said, "What are YOU doing here?" I said, "Oh, I'm just checking out this street back here, trying to figure out which one it is; because I just moved here and I don't know my way around much." We both looked at each other like, Hmmmmm. That was: weird. We went back to our opposite directions: relief.

Our street is off of a cul-de-sac so no one ever goes here hardly and it's really quiet and peaceful: good. The garbage trucks don't go here either because they can't turn around to go back out, so we take our garbage cans and bins to the end of our street, half a block away: bad. My son is obsessed with garbage trucks (still), so on garbage day he wakes up too early and has to run down our street multiple times to see each truck as it passes through: kind of bad because his feet get covered in grime because in all his excitement he forgets to put his shoes on. This morning I washed his feet twice before all the trucks came. All the neighborhood cats hang out with him and his garbage cans while he waits for the trucks: good. He likes cats and they like garbage. It's a good match.

Today while I was helping him bring back the cans from down the street, I saw a tremendous garden slug on my house, sliding along toward the second story: BAD BAD BAD. I have a phobia about garden mollusks. This slug was the size of a small banana, making it a banana slug, I suppose. Only it was brown, not bright green or yellow, like I've had the pleasure of meeting in the Santa Cruz mountains (home of tremendous banana slugs). I was silently wigging out about this slug: Where did it come from? Where was it going? What did it want? I ran back into the house, trying to hide my fears from my son. It's only a matter of time before he discovers my secret: that I'm irrational in this area of life. Until then, I will have to focus on breathing deeply and thinking good thoughts: good good good.

So, not so bad! I really can't complain at all. Except the slug is gone now and I can't help wondering...WHERE DID IT GO?

Road Trip--Waterfall Alley

On Labor Day we drove along the Historic Columbia River Highway to check out some waterfalls. Ever since we stepped foot in Vancouver people have asked us, "Have you seen the Gorge? Have you been to the Gorge?" Our answer, a sheepish, "Not yet." I've personally been very busy organizing my cult film books and measuring for window treatments. Sensing the urgency of the situation (how often do you get to live by one of the most beautiful spots on earth?), we visited the Columbia River Gorge. It's 30 minutes from our house. I'm not bragging--just letting you know.

There are many waterfalls along this drive and you just park, get out of your car and see them. Some are a short hike from the highway. Others spill into pools a few feet from your car. We managed to get to four of them in one afternoon and they were all spectacular. I'm talking: jaw-droppingly beautiful. Jackson kept saying, "This is a-MAZING! It's so pretty!" throughout the day. And he was absolutely right. Here are some stock photos I found. I didn't get permission and I haven't tried to upload Photoshop on my new computer yet (those cult film books have kept me very busy), so they're big. Sorry. The better to gasp at nature's bounty.

Here's the Historic Highway, established (I believe) in 1917 for the enjoyment of vacationing car-drivers, world-wide. Over the years, some major Oregon industrialists donated their waterfalls to the park. Thanks guys! It's strange to think that someone can actually "own" a waterfall. It's kind of laughable but not in a good way.
Latourell Falls. There's some really fluorescent moss growing all around the top of the rock face. And a very "Lord of the Rings" kind of pool at the bottom. Much of Oregon reminds me of Middle Earth. I think it's the tremendous plant life all around. It makes the air really good and maybe we're getting a little too much oxygen when we breathe around here. There's a lot of spirituality and general freakiness in the area. Could be the oxygen; could be isotopes. Could be geological activity just below the surface of the earth, creating some electromagnetic fields. What was I talking about...? Oh--check out THESE falls:
Multnomah Falls. BIG--620 feet down. Here's a photo from 1920 with the Lodge in front (still there, in case you want an ice cream or a latte before you head up to the bridge for a better view). We would have felt dwarfed by all the natural wonder except for the 60,000 people walking along with us to see it. Better to go on a week day.

The other falls were not as well-attended, but still popular. I'm going back after a big rainfall and see what kind of water droplets ensue.

Jackson Graduates

I didn't have any time before we moved to post Jackson's graduation-from-preschool-day photos. Our friend Monte took these. It's called "Key Day" and all the graduates get a key so they can always return to visit their school. Sniffle! Great day. Now he's in kindergarten--more sniffles. The cliche is true: they do grow up fast. They cross over a symbolic bridge into...even more childhood adventures, I guess. Kindergarten is really different because it isn't a co-op. I can volunteer for his class but his day is really separate from mine (for 3.5 hours at least). Today he told me they went to the music room and they all twirled around to music and the room was full of instruments. I thought, I wish I could have come! In a co-op, I would have not only been there, but I probably would have driven a few kids to the class and helped them with their lunches too.
That's Gail, early-childhood genius and humorist. She runs a fantastic school in Oakland. I miss her very much and we were lucky that we got to work with her and all the kids.

Today I walked along the Columbia River for over an hour. What a bee-yoo-ti-ful day. The sun came busting out of all the clouds at 2 p.m. and the water glittered and twinkled and made some waves along the beach.

Where could I be--I don't kno-o-ow...

Greetings from my new home in Vancouver, WA. Up until two months ago, I didn't know Vancouver, WA even existed and now I'm sitting in my new office/guest room here, finally updating the blog. It's a heady experience (sitting here, not the updating). I've been to Vancouver, B.C. many times so I know this copy-cat city name is confusing (personally, I think the state of Washington should have considered naming the town Columbia, since it's on the Columbia River and "Columbia" has a poetic ring to it, does it not?).

So we've gone and relocated and it's sad to leave the wonders (and friends and family) of Oakland, Calif. but it's damn nice here, if a bit more suburban than I've been used to in the past 20 years. Without going into incredible detail (because I'm tired of moving and just plain tired), I find this place very reminicent of my childhood suburb of Concord, CA. Not the Concord of today, but the Concord of almost 40 years ago. This town is now becoming way over-developed but it's still very beautiful in many places; it really is along a river and Portland is a short bridge away. That's right: tax-free shopping right across the water. And as many know, Portland is a unique and wondrous place.

So we're close to the ocean, the mountains, the rivers and waterfalls, and micro-breweries, parks, playgrounds and an awesome school district. I'm sure I'll find something to grumble about but for now, enjoy this pictorial array from the City of Vancouver website and The Columbian newspaper. I'll be taking some photos of all the run-down decrepit stuff that I've discovered, because that's my personal aesthetic. Until then, enjoy the friendly, laid-back, majestic sights of Vancouver (U.S.A.).

Our tour begins along the Columbia River. That's the I-5 drawbridge to Portland.
Here's a beach along the river with Mt. Hood, ever-present in the background.
Nice mural on the railroad bridge. Vancouver sports many planes, trains and automobiles (and recreational boats).
The fountain at downtown Esther Short Park. There are kids here like you wouldn't believe. We've gone to three parks in one week and they're crawling with kids. Today a couple of kids rang our doorbell and played with Jackson all afternoon until their worried-sick mother came looking for them. They had forgotten to tell her where they would be. That's kid-like!
Hungry? How about some grain-fed beef burgers from Burgerville? Enjoy the seasonal milkshakes; this summer it's Oregon blackberry. Fall will feature pumpkin. We still haven't gone to to Burgerville but they're giving away 2,000 free cheese-burgers tomorrow at Esther Short Park for Vancouver's 150th birthday celebration, so maybe we'll wait in line. Scheduled to perform: Squish--a local all-kid rock band.
It does snow here a little bit. I own a hat with ear-flaps, so I'm looking forward to wearing that without getting laughed at, like I did in Oakland.
Oh hell, I'm going to Portland for some tax-free shopping, Powell's Books, micro-brew and an overwhelming population of indie-rock bands, the likes I haven't seen since 1983 in San Francisco. If I can just stay awake past 11 p.m....cannot manage it...night-night.

Come move with me!

Moving is a blast--don't ever let anyone tell you differently. Here's a journal entry I made a few nights ago. Note my organizational skills and grace under pressure:

After missing my exit, trying to get Keith to the airport on time, after packing everything we own over the course of three weeks and after nearly running out of gas on the freeway by the airport and after finding a discount gas station in the middle of nowhere-Oakland 980/880 hinterlands and after getting aggressively panhandled at said gas station and after getting home and realizing I'd lost my house key and couldn't find it anywhere in the rental car or in my purse, and after getting a call from Keith, whose flight was delayed and after he listened to near-panic-and-emotional-wreck Jackson and me tell him about the lost key; Keith suggested we search our 3-cubic-yard-long-and-wide garbage pile in the front yard because I had completely forgotten that I had taken a pan out there to dump before we had left for the airport. Maybe the key had fallen out of my hand there.

"I'll look!" I said as I ran to our metal scrap pile.

And there were my house keys, sitting on top of a pile of garbage, right in front of our house.

Finally, as Jackson was settled in bed and asking me what if we hadn't found them there, and I said, "I'm not going to worry about that. I'm just happy it's all right now."

Then Jackson smiled and said, "I think we had kind of a confused night!"

Then we both cracked up until we were teary eyed.

Epilogue: I was very careful with my keys from then on (until next time). Waste Management negotiated an end to the 3-week-long garbage lock-out and picked up our entire pile of garbage. The movers were able to enter the house the next morning and get all our stuff. Jackson now sees me as more human, and less of a god (that was going to happen soon anyway). And Keith continues to be a genius.

House-bound

I've been thinking about housing lately, mainly because we went and bought a house (more on that later). I read Winifred Gallagher's House Thinking and really enjoyed her room-by-room history and meditation on shelter; its beginnings and ongoing role in our lives. Heady! Here's some Web sites she lists in the back of the book.

A Picture Dictionary of Modern Architecure (finally, modernism explained, with helpful images)

Greatest Buildings of the 20th Century (one woman's opinion)

The Jeremiah Lee Mansion Tour (Colonial Georgian splendor)

Sea Ranch (known for its successful blending into the geography)

The Mount (Edith Wharton's Lair)

The Gamble House (Craftsman mania)

Home Inspection Nightmares VII (from This Old House)

Levittown (the house as American Dream)

Atlas of Sacred Sites Around the World

We're leaving Oakland for other greenery. It's sad and difficult to leave friends and family but it's also a good time to start over. Oakland has so much potential for greatness but it's also a very difficult place to live. There was a garbage lock-out this month, resulting in much...garbage. A journalist was just gunned down in the street yesterday and seven Black Muslims were arrested in connection to the crime. I can't walk by the art center near my old neighborhood and not think about the woman who was nearly burned to death there one night. I wonder how she's doing. There are well over a hundred liquor stores in Oakland and not enough police and a lot of good will but not a lot of solutions. Great weather though. We'll miss the weather. We'll miss all the people but we'll come visit. One thing Oakland doesn't lack and that's character. I'll always remember the mix of cultures, the food and the music. These are what make Oakland special and great. I'm getting all sappy. Thinking about home does that to me.

Not ANOTHER Crazy Dream

They just keep on coming. This one was around 4:40 this morning during what must have been a pre-earthquake before the 4.0+ quake shook us awake like an angry mother trying to get her kids up for school.

It started as an anxiety dream where we moved to a new house and the neighbors were part of the Gotti family. In the course of many strange occurences, all the Gotti kids were having a sleep-over in several bunk beds that all started careening across the bedroom floor, tipping and breaking and traveling in manic fashion. Suddenly, it became part of a Broadway musical and the kids all started singing "Rock & Roll High School." Stagehands came running and patched all the split wood with duct tape. The bunk beds continued ka-lumping across the floor. The kids kept singing, trying to hang on. The last chorus, they all sang in unison, "Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Rock & roll high school!"

And my bed shook me awake, the windows rattled, and a bottle of shower gel fell into the shower stall with a thud. If you're going to be awakened by an earthquake, make it a musical event.

Local Yokels

Are you wandering around Oakland, wondering what to buy or where to hang out? OaklandGoods will steer you straight.

You can't enter the Oakland Mormon Temple unless you're a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints--but you can download some Temple wallpaper for your computer decorating scheme.

Steam Trains in Berkeley?

Do you like photographs of modern architecture in San Francisco? So does Le Blog Exuberance.

Politics in Contra Costa County? Check out Halfway to Concord, featuring a photo header of the Mt. Zion quarry behind my childhood home.

Do you think the Marin County Civic Center, designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, is totally awesome? Here's a photo essay of its design and construction. Why not check out the construction of the Golden Gate Bridge, while you're at it? Would you have liked to ride the rails through Marin at the turn of the century? It would have looked like this.

Attempting to remodel your home in the Bay Area by yourself? Misery loves company:
1oldhouse.blogspot.com
47ranchdressing.blogspot.com
casadecrepit.com (check out the "Crimes Against Victorians" post--very Bay Area)

Coming in September: ArtCar Fest fever--catch it!

When Stevie Nicks was Queen

Long ago, in 1983, the reigning queen of pop music did not lip synch, kept her drug use under wraps for most of the decade, made sure her shows were entertaining and had some pretty killer big hair (presumably all her own). I never really got into her shtick because she seemed so "mannered." I liked talented control-freak Lindsey Buckingham better. But in hindsight, I've come to appreciate the greatness that was Stevie Nicks. Now you can too. Check out that 80s energy emanating all around the stage.

(The best Stevie Nicks video on YouTube was taken away from us so you'll have to settle for this "Solid Gold" appearance. Definitely second best, at best.)

I had this crazy dream...

...don't you hate sentences that start like that? And the dream usually is crazy--crazy boring! No one wants to hear your dreams--that's how it is. But I really did have this crazy dream last night and I'm going to type it here for posterity. Sometimes dreams just scream for attention, you know?

I dreamt we were looking for another rental apartment to move into and a young couple offered to show us theirs. It wasn't too impressive, but we were friendly with them as we looked around. The man and woman who lived there were musicians (I'm kind of a musician too) but they were not friendly at all. In fact, they were pretty snotty towards us, not making any effort to be kind or even polite. Later, we returned to the apartment while they were out, to give it one last look-over. I noticed from all the memorabilia, posters and photos on the walls that they had been in Toad the Wet Sprocket. I yelled, "They were all snotty to us because they had been in TOAD THE WET SPROCKET?!"

See? Ca-razy! Needless to say, we didn't take the apartment. Besides, the washer/dryer were coin-op and I can never come up with enough quarters.

Note: any similarity to members of Toad the Wet Sprocket is entirely coincidental.

Important Ukulele News

This Friday, July 6th, The Tatami Mats will perform "Dark Side of the Uke"--a ukulele-only version of Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon." Why is this happening? It's the second anniversary of The Knockout at Mission and Valencia in San Fran., 10 p.m. start time. Too rich for my blood, but I'm always up for some ukulele orchestrations. May the spirit of Don Ho be with them.

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Pride-arrific

Happy Pride Day. I'll be celebrating my dad's 70th birthday tomorrow and needless to say, we won't be at the parade. But here are some photos I've purloined from SFGate.com. Hope they don't mind. You can see their series of photos from the last seven years of parades here. Dig that crazy scene!

Looking good Mayor Newsom. Sir Ian McKellan is beaming--he's adorable. It looks to me that if you are a contingent of the "Balloon Magic" group, you can plan on doing some heavy-duty partying before, during and after the parade--Balloon Magic just has that "look" to it. I love the furry angel wings on the bears. Do you think heaven is full of leather guys in furry wings? Conservative Christians will be bummed. Good.









Many years ago, I marched in the parade with this certifiably nut-job political group. We chanted "Money for AIDS, not for war!" And some people cheered but some people looked glum--like, "Don't rain on our parade, nutty political group." I admit, our group was not as endearing as the people who dressed up as life-sized bags of groceries for the "Meals on Wheels" float. Or THAT guy above. That's pride.

Last photo. Awww--that's some balloon magic right there.

Oh look--more old stuff

More children's book weirdness from the donation box at work. Obviously, I have a great job--it only took 25 years to find one. This book is from 70s-era Japan and simply contains beautifully illustrated renditions of toys. Very innocent. If I were 2, I'd read this every day!

Hey, look at this old stuff

Arty bloggers are always posting their weird found objects and saying, "Hey, look at this old stuff I found." This blog is no different. I found some children's books in the donation box at work this week. They're old and weird and here they are.

Enjoying Reading is a British reading primer from 1966 that had a decidedly dark view of the reading experience. Check out this book cover.

Nothing says Enjoying Reading like falling through a frozen pond. I hope that guy with the jaunty cap can hang on. I like how half the spectators are little children--what a fun day for all!

Inside are some visual vocabulary builders.
The sentence describing #6: "This is a tramp." Despite appearances, the guy in #2 is not a grave-digger, he is merely, "making a trench." And what's going on in #8? Why, she's "making the donkey trot."
More dark lessons in life. There has been a car crash. There is a crack in the cup. He eats a crust. The apples are crushed. It's like a bunch of clues in "Veronica Mars" as directed by David Lynch. I liked Veronica Mars--she was saucy.
I don't know what's going on here but that clown is really demented (or "funny" as described in the book) and the puppy is not rabid, only happy. Enjoyable!

Betty Boop in "Minnie The Moocher"

1934 - Betty Boop, Cab Calloway, Max Fleischer and thou.


LikeTelevision Embed Movies and TV Shows

Can I edit my Profile?

I've been trying to get a little photo up for my profile but Blogger keeps taking it down. So here's a THIRD attempt. This time I'm using an image from an Acquanetta movie poster from the 40s. This site is named after one of her films. And so it's time once more to pay tribute to one of the Hollywood's great failures, ableit a beautiful one. Here's to you Aquanetta, a.k.a. Mildred Davenport. I'm only trying to exploit your image so that a handful of people can read my boring profile. Here's the full-on poster. Don't you wish you could rent this on DVD? With director commentary?

Exciting New Product Line for Today's Now Consumer

In keeping with the concept of Joy Division Sneakers, I came up with some new clothing design ideas that will combine the latest in active-wear with the music-makers of yesterday and today. I think you'll be very pleased by the selection, quality and "now" factor. Please do not steal these ideas, as they are: patent pending.

First up--the Green Day Polo. Wear Billie Joe, Mike and Tre Cool proudly on the breast pocket of this ongoing classic-style shirt. Features breathable, durable cotton mesh; two-button placket, ribbed collar/armbands; and uneven vented hem. Available in several colors including cornflower, dusty sage, autumn leaf and pineapple.

close-up view

Men's Nirvana Nevermind moisture-wicking underwear features exclusive lightweight and silky fabric engineered for breathability and moisture transport. Enjoy the freedom of a boxer with the support of a brief--as alternative as you want to be. Also available In Utero.

The Dead Kennedys are considered one of the most important American hardcore punk bands of the 1980s, and now you can enjoy the comfort of their legacy with these high-quality sports socks. Athletic socks are an essential component of your active footwear. Don't censor your abilities--the right punk rock sock can mean the difference between success and failure on the playing field.

Celebrate the early 80s punk ska movement with the Circle Jerks cargo pant. Your old-school, hardcore style just got more convenient with all the storage you need for keys, wallets, cell phones, PDA and more. Never leave home short-handed again.

AND for a limited time, we offer this special one-off product: James Iha's fart in a jar. James Iha--guitarist extraordinaire of Smashing Pumpkins and solo career fame, has graciously licensed his precious emissions, now available for the first time. Certificate of authenticity is included.

Nu Shoes

Custom-designed New Balance shoes inspired by Joy Division's 1979 debut, "Unknown Pleasures." Kind of sporty.

So very many Love Will Tear Us Apart covers.

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CWW's Belive It or Not!

The online version of the Canadian comic strip "For Better or For Worse" features characters with blinking eyes - freaky!

Mr. Bento Porn is a Flickr site where you can view hundreds of photos of lunches people have made for their Japanese Zojirushi storage containers; passionate commentary - strangely voyeuristic!

My next-door neighbor is incredibly loud in unusual ways. From our house you can hear him talking on the phone, loudly. He talks to his downstairs neighbors loudly and he sneezes just like a comic strip character: aaah CHOO! Any hour of the day or night, you can hear him from any room in our house: aaah CHOO! Otherwise, he's very quiet.

More proof that you should never air grievances via email.

Today on KALX, the dj back-announced Chad and Jeremy's A Summer Song, then said, "I just hit myself in the head with the mic--that was RAD." I laughed and thought, it's good to be alive!

Don't Miss: Festival of Fitness

Once again I find myself partaking in a somewhat odd music happening. The Festival of Fitness will be a bbq show at the Stork Club with 12 bands, muzak kareoke, prizes and plenty of spandex and sweat-bands. I'll play drums and Sue Hutchinson will play guitar and we'll both sing a bunch of her new songs. Sue is in many bands, including She Mob, Death by Stork (me too on both counts), Junior Showmanship, Winner's Bitch, and I'm sure there's more. We're billed as Junior Showmanship and we'll go on around 4 pm or so. There will be hot dogs available, plus pinball machines and a pool table if you want to work out. Wear comfortable clothing and athletic shoes.

The Festival of Fitness
This Sunday, June 10, 2007, at The Stork Club (2330 Telegraph Ave.), Oakland, 2 pm - Closing
12 bands, BBQ, DJ, Muzak Kareoke, Sychronized Dance, Headbands, Spandex, Legwarmers, Jazzercise giveaways!