Reality TV Meditation - Eyes Open
- Find a comfortable position sitting in front of your television.
- Begin by flipping channels on your remote.
- Flip from channel 40 up to 250, depending on your cable package.
- Now let your thumb relax and settle on a show.
- Notice how the people on the screen scream or spew inanities at each other. The people change and the rooms change from show to show, but the shouting never ends. Be present in this moment.
- Focus on the surroundings of the people but do not judge, no matter how cluttered, tacky or opulent—just notice their environments.
- Do this for about a minute.
- Now change channels, down the numbers, and back up again.
- Continue flipping up and down the cable roster of reality TV—notice the emptiness you are feeling. You should be feeling very, very empty.
- When you come to Say Yes to the Dress, stop.
- That's enough reality TV for today.
Miley Cyrus Listening Meditation
- Close your eyes and listen to the braying voice of Miley Cyrus as she applies herself to changing her image from Disney child star to brain-damaged sexy baby.
- If your eyes open and you find yourself focusing on the twerking or the licking of a sledgehammer, simply bring your attention back to her voice, which, after all, is her bread and butter.
- Focus on the lyrics to We Can't Stop, particularly: To my home girls here with the big butt / Shaking it like we at a strip club / Remember only God can judge ya / Forget the haters cause somebody loves ya.
- Feel the love flowing from Miley.
- Feel compassion for all big butts and haters.
- Continue to bring your attention back to Miley Cyrus, not that you have much of a choice in the matter.
- Be in the world. Notice the tops of everyone's heads as they hunch over their smartphones.
- If you feel envy or irritation, note that you are feeling envy or irritation, and let it go.
- Feel compassion for the robotic nature of a plugged-in society.
- Recognize that the concept of social skills is merely a concept.
- Accept that we are a consumer society, concerned more and more with functions and apps and less and less with human interaction and listening skills.
- If you find yourself judging or labeling smartphone addicts, simply let go of those thoughts and look at some pretty flowers.
- Do not reference the flowers—simply note them as if seeing them for the first time.
- Resist the urge to punch the petals of the flowers with your thumbs, as if texting.
- Just be.