Search-Engine Optimization (SEO) is what the Internet is ALL about. Ever wonder why your favorite pop-culture blog has so many posts on Lindsay Lohan, even though they're repetitive and depressing (potential jail-time, drunk and disorderly, back in rehab, looking pretty crack-y)? Well, it's because every time someone types in "Lindsay Lohan" into a search engine's "find" box, every pop-culture blog is hoping to be number one on that list. Or at least in the top ten. Otherwise: horrors! Web readers will NEVER find that blog. And then it's on to Justin Bieber.
There's enough idiots out there searching for Lindsay Lohan, to make every site make sure that she's well represented on a daily basis. Clogging up the pop-culture pipeline with her current uselessness is just one of many job descriptions Ms. Lohan can put on her resume.
But what about THIS blog? Captive Wild Woman is not immune to the problematic nature of search popularity. We at CWW headquarters have noted a distinct trend while studying our Web stats and analytic pie charts: images are fueling this blog's search popularity more than writing. And obscure films and satirical content are just not attracting the masses like they used to. If they ever did. So with that in mind, here's a grab-bag of jpg images for ultimate SEO.
Have at it, searchers. I think I can supply you what you're looking for from my extensive, years-in-the-making collection of ultimate graphic content.
Fluffernutter Sandwich - look no further. It's right here.
Fuck This Guy - I really think this is a useful jpg image. Not just useful but beautiful. It's beautiful, man.
Rat Playing Saxophone - Why do you own a dog or a cat? Can they do this? I think not, at least not with any shred of dignity.
Van Halen - they're rocking out with the cocks out. Or as close as they legally can to that. File this in your important archives for future reference because today's rockers are wimps who refuse to wear Spandex.
Puppy - Look at this puppy! All puppyin' out and goddammit, it's a puppy. You need this puppy image in your life. You know you do.
Forget the puppy. Here's 80s pop genius Prince. If you look at only one Prince image today, make it this one.
Forget Prince. Look at Roxy Music. They are so much cooler than anyone on the planet before or since. That's value-added.
Sad Keanu with Bunnies - This will be generating millions of hits. I hope the Blogger servers can handle it!
Can never get enough Gary Busey.
Sorry, but I gotta slip this one in, "Dawson Crying." It's just a formality due to its ongoing popularity as an image. Carry on.
Lindsay Lohan and Paula Abdul - you're welcome.