Saturday, December 30, 2006
Hot Pants
Cityrag has the round-up of important celebrity dirt of the year.
FourFour features the always-amusing John Waters.
And everything's still cute at Cute Overload.
Friday, December 22, 2006
A Toast to XMas
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1.) Very tight shoulders: shopping, wrapping, writing Christmas cards 'til my hand cramps. Fretting over who to buy stuff for--what stuff to buy them. Paying for the stuff.
2.) Health concerns: one of us is always very ill during the week leading up to Christmas. This would be OK if we could shift Christmas day around. Like celebrate it a day later or so, until the sick person feels up to it. But my mom won't do that. Somehow the day must always be the 25th, even if you have the next day off from work. I don't understand this mentality. It's not even Baby Jesus' real birthday, and Christmas historically, was actually a mostly-Northern European invention to celebrate winter solstice and get through the darkest days of the season with sanity intact (i.e., slaughter all the cattle you couldn't feed throughout the winter, eat the meat and drink all the fermented beverages that were ready for consumption). It's a swell pagan holiday that the Christians co-opted, like so many other celebrations, and now it's just a big muddle of iconic images plastered across the landscape amid endless carols that are piped in any available public place you happen to exist in (gas-station bathrooms: do I hear "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" overhead? Yes.).
3.) Iconic images: Last week I was in big Longs Drugstore. Everyone in Oakland calls it Big Longs because it's just gigantic. It's like a funky Wal-Mart but no one protests its existance--it's an accepted part of the urban landscape. There's five or six Christmas aisles at Big Longs. And I noticed that one of the boxed ornament gift sets there consisted entirely of gambling devices: dice, slot machine, poker chips; all done in shiny, colorful glass in multiple colors. "When I think of Christmas, I think of gambling," I said out loud to no one (I'm getting crotchety, obviously). Several people tittered. The following week, I was hanging out in Reno, for fun, and I saw no images of gambling and Christmas, other than the festive decorations in the hotel lobbies and casinos. I don't know what this means, except that Oakland has its priorities screwed up and Reno is really downplaying the gambling of late.
4.) Family: My immediate family is really a great one. I lucked out in that department. I enjoy seeing them, talking to them and just thinking about them. My extended family has become another matter over the years. We all grew up together, aunts, uncles, cousins and even cousins' friends and other cousins. We were about as close as an extended family could be, but I guess there's a bit of a sociopathic gene running through this particular extended family. Therefore, as everyone grew, their temperments came to the forefront and slowly, the family "unit" began to decay. All it takes is a few people waving some guns around, threatening their spouses and children to put a damper on family celebrations. Then there's back-biting, stealing, paranoia, lying and passive-agressive manipulation to contend with. To a lesser degree, hoarding and overall anxiety. What a psychic stew! It really makes holidays a drag, to say the least. One by one, I've dropped my extended family connections. There's still a few good ones out there, but they live far away and I only get to see them once a year if I'm lucky. So Christmas is a real mixed bag for me, like for most people. It enforces this ideal of "family" and "friends" which may not be much of an ideal from year to year. It's propaganda of the cheery sort.
Sometimes Christmas reminds me of these two roommates I had. One became increasingly agoraphobic and wouldn't leave her pig-sty of a room for days. The other was really happy all the time and didn't see any problems about anything at all. Once, when I was feeling down about something, she told me that if I just smiled more, I would feel better because studies have shown that it takes less muscles to smile than frown. Every time I smile I think of these studies. Trouble is, I was born with a birth defect that actually makes it really hard for me to smile. It probably takes more muscles for me to smile than frown, and if that makes me kind of grumpy about life, too bad! I was born that way! Merry Christmas.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Death by Stork Rises Once More
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Here's the exciting line-up, sure to get you in a winter solstice mood:
She Mob - Suki, Sue, Alan and Lisa make a startling reformation in order to play three AND ONLY THREE rockin' pop songs and then record them a week later.
The Bleu Canadians - Live!!! from Canada!!!! explosive all new garage/psychadelic set. Free Canadian citizenship for everyone who attends. Also, free membership to the Edmonton Curling Club for the first 20 paid admissions. Also, come join us for our wild afterparty where we will race Zambonis. This is a benefit for The Canadian Temperature Fund.
Death By Stork - Searing songs of love, death, poop, and belly button lint. You just may have to get drunk and dance, folks. We will be joined by Lucio on bass--filling in for Tony, who's tromping around the Phillipinnes.
Fuzzy Cousins - Jenya Chernoff and Matt Lebowsky are a pair of primates that defy taxonomy. Highly evolved, their vast experience from mingling with other nomadic tribes (including Mumble & Peg, Three Piece Combo, Mark Growden's Electric Pinata, Species Being, and most recently with Faun Fables as characters and music makers in the touring production of The Transit Rider) is revealed in their music: even and odd, smooth and sharp, sweet and shattering.
Magnus Tick Aquarium - Super group jam band gone psycho. You may wonder where your head went.
Geez--that's a lot of music for $5.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
2006 - Year of the Vag
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Can I be the first to proclaim 2006 as the year of the vagina? The year the vagina made itself known in all its once-hidden glory? Don't be squeamish. Vaginas have been around a long, long time. If they're finally getting a day in the sun, I say, "Welcome--welcome internal genitalia and birth canal."
Back in 2004, Richard Avedon clicked a shot of Chan Marhsall's (a.k.a. Cat Power) pubic area peeking out of her jeans. The snowball trend started barreling down our consciousness hill and we're now in full-on vagina mode.
From Madonna's disco-enriched camel toe, to the Hollywood "It" girl crotch-shot trio (Paris, Lindsay, Britney), the vagina is making itself known, loud and clear. And if you're a bit modest and you don't want to acknowledge the new out-and-about photo op--too bad! The vagina is here to stay!
Remember how shocking Sharon Stone's "accidental" up-the-dress scene was in Basic Instinct? As the cigarrette ad once proclaimed, "You've come a long way baby!"
What will 2007 bring? I say, bring on the penis.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
"...like in real life, people were not to be trusted."
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Here Altman directs Warren Beatty in "McCabe & Mrs. Miller," perhaps the all-time most cynical western ever. If you haven't seen this one, go on, it's good for you. And here is a photo of the town Altman had built outside of Vancouver just for the film (torn down 7 months later). Julie Christie as an opium addict: see it twice!
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Saturday, November 18, 2006
Behold Willem Dafoe's Hair
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American Psycho - Slicked back and sleazy. Nobody's hair does it better.
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Auto Focus - Yeah, that's the ticket--more slicked back sleaziness.
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Affliction - Please, do not emotionally torture me with your dysfunctional addictions! Excellent wayward-son look. Kind of back to Jesus too. This tormented hair sure is pretty, and rather femme.
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The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - No, no, no! Do not make Willem Dafoe wear a twee little beanie. Director Wes Anderson's arrogance is out of control if he thought the American public would be denied another fine performance featuring Dafoe's hair. This is like asking Nicole Kidman to wrinkle her forehead, or Scarlett Johansson to play a demure nun. It's just unfortunate. No wonder this film was a critical flop.
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Thursday, November 16, 2006
Post-Halloween Cuteness
Monday, October 23, 2006
Let Us Ponder Dorothy Malone
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Dorothy played Kyle's sister Marylee, and although no one comes right and says the actual word (unless you count, "Your daughter's a TRAMP, mister."), she's Hollywood's ultimate nymphomaniac. The reasons to like Dorothy's portrayal of Marylee are many-fold:
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4.) She makes Lauren Bacall look even MORE wooden than she actually is. It hardly seems possible to do so, but there's more expression in your soup spoon than in Bacall's entire performance. Except for the crying scenes where she buries her head against Rock Hudson's formidable chest. She does appear to be crying in these scenes, but she's no match for Dorothy's sly, cunning, conniving, treacherous, lecherous, plotting, teasing, cackling face. And that's just during one dinner scene.
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Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Do Not Fail to See Death by Stork
First up will be Winner's Bitch, (featuring former She Mobbers, Sue Hutchinson and Suki O'Kane). Then DBS, also featuring Sue, plus me and Andrew and Tony. Then Remora, which is a Deftones cover band(!). Sounds like fun. Sure to be cheap. Always good times. And Jerry Brown lives right down the street. I always think he'll stop in, but he never does.
Have I ever blogged about the time Jerry Brown did a bunch of mescaline with my aunt and uncle in Mexico, back in the hippie days...? No? Maybe next time.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
Vacation Haiku
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Eugene, OR
Playgrounds are bitchin'
and the bad part of town is
only six blocks long
Eugene Friend
Standard black poodle
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house; brings us shoes. Gus
Recumbent Bikes
Sit down, like a chair
Lean back and relax cowboy
You are one fast geek.
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Corvallis, OR
Picturesque and quaint
White people work at HP
and study Buddha
Salem, OR
The state capitol
Awesome children's museum
Strip malls and porn shops
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Portland
Whoa! This city rocks
Where has it been all my life?
Please sign me up now
Portland Japanese Garden
Gravel, plants, water
Falls, streams, bridges, quiet paths
Favorite by far
Powell's Books
Gazillions of books
like some kind of book heaven
Whole Foods is nearby
Seattle
Jimi Hendrix and
Streetwise and heroin chic
Oh, and Space Needle
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Pike's Market
Throw the fish upward
Balloon man makes a kitty
Ferries trawl the waves
My Uncle's Restaurant
Machiavelli's
It's at 1215 Pine Street
garlic sautéed greens
Vancouver
Relatives greet us
with affection and cheese cake
Canada is best
Friday, September 01, 2006
Northerly Haul
I know other cities are experiencing crime waves but Oakland is really in its own class at this point. It's like living in an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Only we have no slayer and don't intend to get one any time soon. Our old neighborhood is full of families and working people and older people and now is home to thugs and creeps. They're preying on all these good neighbors. I worry about my older neighbors. We lived on this tiny one-block street and we knew everyone on it pretty well. We had some really excellent people on our block. Then these psycho drug dealers moved in across the street and our lives really took a nose-dive, quality-wise. We just sold our house and rent now in a nicer neighborhood. The drug dealers just pass through here and don't live by us any more. There's still crime, but no one's getting beaten over the head in the middle of the day for their cell phone. That's moving on up, Oakland style.
I'll write more about our trip. I'm just pissed right now. The trip was good. Most people are good. The bad ones just need to be better contained or intimidated or run out of town.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
My Cartoon Posse
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The first issues effortlessly blended sci-fi, romance comics, and the southern California punk rock scene. As the series progressed, the Bros broke out of the staid genres they had warped and started really focusing on their characters. Maggie is probably the most endearing of Jaime’s universe. She started out as a cute Mexican American punk rocker/auto (and rocket!) mechanic, exploring her relationship with her mercurial pal/lover Hopey, while battling horrible crushes on boys she knew she could not have.
Over the years, she gained quite a bit of weight, drank too much, and floated from one menial job to another. She had some relationships but never as intense as the long-term Hopey friendship/affair. She even dabbled in prostitution for a short time but pulled herself out of that rut to hang out with a bunch of lady wrestlers. She can currently be seen in the NY Times Sunday magazine in a serialized story featuring one of those wrestlers, who is now elderly and may be battling dementia.
Maggie is not fearless. In fact, she is often quite fearful, especially when dealing with her emotional entanglements and attractions, but she’s a very good person, naturally sweet-tempered and has excellent taste in music. She’s had a lot of
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OK, the next one is not a cartoon per se. She's actually 60s B-movie actress Yvonne Craig playing Batgirl--but it's my posse and I get to pick 'em. Yvonne Craig was the first person who made me sit up in front of the TV and think, va va va voom! When she took off her oversized librarian eyeglasses and donned that red wig and skin-tight purple jumpsuit, then whipped out of her secret bat-lair upon her bat cycle to go join fatherly Batman (Adam West) and brotherly Robin (ol' what's his name), well, the results were breathtaking on my childhood psyche.
Back then, there weren't a lot of female cartoon characters who were as action-packed as Batgirl. Lynda Carter's Wonderwoman was a few years away and she was kind of bulky for a superhero--what was with those gold bracelets that deflected bullets--c'mon! Batgirl was of this world. No invisible airplane for her. She shelved books for a living, and presumably read them as well. She was the commissioner's daughter but she was always in trouble. But she sometimes got Batman out of trouble too and she looked hot while doing it. And that red wig--gaaah! I love you Batgirl! Mwa! Mwa! (kissing noises). Head on over to Yvonne's Web site to hear the Batgirl theme song (Yeeeeeeah--whose baby are you? Batgirl!) and order an autographed photo of Batgirl for only $25.
I know you're dying to know who's next. And I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. It's Queer Duck! Queer Duck started out as an Internet cartoon on icebox.com and now he's graduated to his own straight-to-dvd film: Queer Duck, The Movie.
Queer Duck lives in a colorful universe that looks and seems strangely like the 80s, surrounded by his animal friends and lovers, Openly Gator (who sounds a lot like Harvey Fierstein), Oscar Wildcat and Bi-Polar Bear. The film revolves around Queer Duck wondering if his life would be any easier if he were straight. He meets an old stage diva and considers marrying her. What are the consequences of Queer Duck's actions? And what of his 18-month relationship with Openly Gator? These are the questions we must ask ourselves as Queer Duck's drama unfolds.
Queer Duck is hilarious. Written by Simpson's alum, Mike Reiss, the Queer Duck universe is perverse, brightly satirical, and well, queer. Shockingly Reiss admits on the dvd's extras that He's. Not. Gay. In fact, apparently the only gay person who works on Queer Duck is the voice of Queer Duck, Jim J. Bullock. I'm still kind of confused by this confession. Oh well, it's funny.
OK, now I'm going to zip through the rest of this because I've been trying to complete this blog entry for something like a week-and-a-half. The whole idea is starting to get stale in my head by this time. We'll wrap up with Buttercup from The Power Puff Girls, whose time seems to have come and gone. I'm not sure I would have liked the Power Puff Girls when I was a girl. They're kind of violent in a not-so-fun way, although the show is generally very funny. My kid watched it once and kept asking me why they were always fighting so much. I had to explain the concept of super-heroes and bad guys to him. He's still not sure why bad guys are bad. Bad guys don't make sense to him yet. I guess they don't make sense to me either, if I think about it. Anyway, here's Buttercup, the badass of the Power Puff Girls. I like her innate anger and I like how she channels that anger into violently opposing bad guys. She really kicks them in the head. She's not dainty in any way, shape or form. She's a little disturbing.
This is Neon, a belly dance instructor and videographer, originally from Moscow. She kind of looks like a transexual who happens to teach belly dance. She's not a cartoon, but she's certainly a persona of sorts. It's really important to stay in shape when you're fighting crime and Neon will help us keep our womanly figures (sorry Queer Duck) and get us in touch with our shimmy muscles. Plus her costumes are just fab.
Finally, I present Jaquee, my Land's End Virtual Model. I typed up some of my specs on the Land's End Web site and picked out some hair color and a face shape, and wah-la! Jaquee. Jaquee is really only good for trying on clothes but since I hate doing that myself, she can have the job full-time. And she can shop for them too, because in my world, that's almost as bad as trying them on. By acting as a personal shopper Jaquee will be saving my cartoon posse hours of time that can be better spent doing almost anything but shopping. And you'll be glad to know that Jacquee has been hitting the virtual gym a little more often lately so maybe her clothes size can go down by summer's end. Go go Jaquee!
That's my cartoon posse. I think we'll throw ourselves a little booze-soaked belly-dance fightin' party and maybe get some clothes out of the deal. Then we'll work hard to impeach Bush.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Hot Fun in the Summertime
Fold some paper
Expand your pop-culture knowledge-base
Get rid of your crap. Get more crap for free
You're a little tense--embark upon a meditation retreat
Take a road trip
Study up on vintage garbage trucks
Learn more about "B" movies--what if there's a test?
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Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Happy Gay Pride
Scientists continues to find evidence that gayness begins before birth. Here's an article on a new finding about birth-order, gender, and sexual preference. I especially like the end quote by Andy Forrest of the Stonewall gay rights group:
[The current study] adds further weight to the argument that lesbian and gay people should be treated equally in society and not discriminated against for something that's just as inherent as skin colour.
Yes, and it would be nice if gay people could legally wed one another. Will I see that in my lifetime? Will my son see it in his? Can our society build upon itself by sanctioning the legal bond between people? Or will we continue to stifle and discriminate? I am seriously hoping for the best but there's such a big wall of bigotry that must be chiseled way, way down. Keep chipping away...
Monday, June 19, 2006
Britney Spears Makes Me Feel Good...
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I know I've been domestically isolated lately because my thoughts have this weird, surreal, almost "Plan 9 From Outer Space" quality to them. Like a pop culture monk I am. Yesterday I was doing some laundry (so much laundry lately--where does it all come from?) and I was digging lint out of the trap in the dryer and thinking: do celebrities dig their own lint out? If so, do they think in terms of: This banal chore is now more significant because I'm doing it? Or do they go the other route and think: This is what keeps me humble.
And why was I thinking this at all? It's like my dream life and my real life are converging at times.
And then tonight I was making soup and this overly dramatic voice screamed in my head: Will this miso ever mix properly or do I have to get the whisk!?
It's like I know how my life has become so every-day, so my mind is going on these hysterical tangents that are all drama-queenish and fake but entertaining and disturbing at the same time. God--maybe I understand Britney a little more. Maybe we can all find a little tolerance in our heart. Forgive Denise Richards and Richie Sambora--it was love. Let little Lindsay Lohan find her inner calling in the bars and speakeasies of both coasts. And Paris Hilton will one day pull it out and become a human being at some point in time--if we just wait patiently and with compassion. Oh fuck it, I'm going to bed.
Friday, June 16, 2006
My Busy Little World
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While I attempted to get my mojo back, I accidentally joined the whole Harry Potter juggernaut. It was due to my mom and dad's audiocassette collection of the first book (I can never remember all the titles or what order they go in--I'm not 11!). I'll just make up a name that comes to mind: Harry Potter and the New Cool World. I don't know why my parents had the book-on-tape of Harry Potter and the New Cool World, but I borrowed it to listen to as I traveled back and forth to my far-away Kaiser plastic surgeon, Dr. Dumbeldorf. Dr. Dumbeldorf works miracles and he's quite jolly. I'm impressed by him.
Anyhoo, I started listening to the tapes and couldn't stop and kept on listening 'til the end. Then I checked out the second book at our wonderful and tiny library down the street. Then I rented one of the movies and added that to my knowledge of the one other Harry Potter movie I had seen. I had actually seen the first one long ago, was disappointed by the un-charismatic Daniel Radcliffe as Harry (though Emma Watson as Hermione Granger totally and continues to rule), and didn't see another film until down the line, fairly recently. It was uh, Harry Potter and the Very Well-Done Visual Effects. The story in this film was quite muddled. I left the theater thinking, What the--? But the visual effects were really top-notch. In the very back of my head I filed that info. away for a later date, and that date I'm happy to say, has arrived! (This is what some of J.K. Rowling's wizard characters sound like when they talk--she is a bit of a social satirist).
So yeah, the visual effects in Harry Potter movies can't be beat. I mean, these studios pour millions upon millions of dollars into them and most of it ends up on-screen. This is more rare than you may think. This is a franchise like McDonald's and the producers could easily let some quality slip and still make millions and millions back from the rabid Rowling following, but no, they are hard-working and good money-men and they really give the audience the entertainment they crave. Even if the plot-lines leave you thinking, huh?, the effects will cheer you with the power of artistic wow available to computer geeks these days. I have worked with these geeks over the years. They are talented people who rarely see the light of day. If they end up on a Potter film, I doubt they see daylight for a long, long time.
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Monday, May 29, 2006
Hello Shiloh Nouvel
Monday, May 08, 2006
Just Another Celebrity Blog
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Scarlet Runner Bean Jolie-Pitt (kind of pays homage to several celebrity names and it’s a fine legume besides)
Jandek Obscura Jolie-Pitt (going for some indie-music cred here)
WFMU KFJC Jolie-Pitt (cool college radio indie-cred--the kind Brad Pitt yearned for before he joined Angelina in her bid to save the world)
Yo La Tengo Jolie-Pitt (ditto)
Not Jennifer Aniston’s Child Jolie-Pitt (just to really rub it in)
Ayn Rand (for a girl)
Atlas Shrugged (boy) - great promotion if the two decide to star in the rumored film of the book.
Landor Associates Jolie-Pitt (corporate sponsorship baby--I thought of it first)
Jim (it’s weird but I think it works)
Maybe this week the couple will be blessed with a genetically endowed baby. Good luck Angelina. Giving birth is very cool. Stay hydrated. Know that in my insomniac state, I think of you...
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Let's Talk About Me
Meanwhile, Sue Hutchinson and I, founding members of She Mob, have formed a new band with two guys, Andrew and Tony, called Death by Stork. We're trying to get a show together for July, probably in San Fran. And so until then Tony has placed some rehearsal recordings on our obligatory My Space site. The hi-fidelity Radioshack mono recordings will have to hold the public over until our big record deal comes through. I think I've done enough self-promoting for one night. I'll slink off to bed now...
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Edie, Little 60s Speedie
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The Stein book makes Warhol into a villain--a social vampire feeding on the poor souls that are drawn to his banal charisma, using them up then spitting them out onto the dirty sidewalks of New York where they are incapable of getting sober and living productive 60s lives as house-wives and house-husbands. I think not. He was genius at surrounding himself with extremely creative people who were never going to fit in to society no-way no-how. And he gave them outlets for their crazy amphetamine-fueled energies. And they had a great time, which is sort of hinted at in the book, but mostly in a house-of-horrors way. Like any creative collaboration, there are good times with the bad. Otherwise the Happenings just wouldn't uh, happen.
Now Warhol is revered by writers and critics as one of this country's greatest artists. Sometimes that happens. The 80s were not appreciative of his celebrity-fawning and Studio 54-going ways. But his take on American culture was pretty astute and extremely deadpan funny and macabre. What would he make of us now I wonder? Andy Warhol was taken away a little too soon: bummer. Interpret our culture as you will, you won't have Andy Warhol to help you out any more.
That said, always remember: Speed kills. And turns you into an asshole just before you die. So stay off that stuff.
Friday, March 24, 2006
More Stuff Angst
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1.) Contact paper. That stuff you stick in kitchen drawers for cleanliness and neat appearance. It's supposed to come off again but after a few years, rarely does without a struggle. White with delicate flowers. What to do with? Toss.
2.) Rat poison. Big box full of rat baits. Once I came home and found a giant rat on our porch. I freaked out and bought this but never set it out anywhere. What to do with? Toss into landfill. Feel really guilty about.
3.) Unopened tennis balls from what year? Still good? Last played tennis over a decade ago. What to do with? Play tennis?
4.) Drum practice pad. This was my brother's from high school. I never learned how to properly play so I don't use this. But as a drummer I feel obligated to have this in my house along with a stick or two, just to feel like I could practice at home, with a 6-inch pad, if the mood should strike. Put in rehearsal space until forced to remove.
5.) Floor wax. Leave for new home-buyers.
6.) Great Stuff Polyurethane Foam Sealant. A handyman told me this causes cancer. What to do with? Toss into landfill. Feel even more guilt. I am destroying the environment in only one afternoon.
7.) Washing machine hose. Now that's exciting.
8.) Shoe polish. Shoe polish? I guess we still have some use for this.
9.) Suede cleaner. Suede? It could come back.
10.) Water repeller for clothing. More toxic stuff. Sorry world.
11.) Propert's Leather and Saddle Soap. Ahhh, comes in a old-tyme tin. It's actual soap used for cleaning your leather goods and it smells like grandma's linens and things. Not suitable for suede.
12.) Rubber cement. Oh god--when will this end! How will I sleep tonight! But I can't keep the rubber cement.
13.) Plant hanger. Oh, that's nice. It just hangs plants.
That was one milk crate. There's more. God, I'm exhausted and hyperventilating. Looks like we'll be driving down to the toxic waste dump soon. Moving really is stressful.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
The Clutter-free Life: Dream On
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The image above is of an ancient diver from the Corbis photo site. Look how uncomfortable he looks, yet so cool. People will do anything to explore new spaces.
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Hmmm, what else have
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Here's a spaceship from Johnny Sokko and his Giant Robot, a 60s show from Japan which was a poor man's Ultra
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I'm running out of steam so I'll leave off with Happy Bun Bun. Don't think this is the end of my junk file--I could write aproximately 900 blog entries just using my junk file as subject-matter. But don't worry, I won't. This image is good to focus on during my move and perhaps for every new stage of life. Gentle conversations--such a fine concept. Today I opened a fortune cookie and the fortune said: Hold a good friend in both your hands. I really liked that fortune and I really liked the cookie because it was covered in some decent chocolate. Why can't all fortune cookies be that
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