Whether or not that's true, you must admit: making a billion dollars by age 14 is creepy, twins in general are creepy, boho fashion scenes are creepy, "Full House" was really creepy. It all adds up to one petite little package of creepy. I think the secret lies within her eyes. Look at them. Lovely liquid circles of blue one minute; demonic, blank depths from hell the next. What is she on anyway to make her eyes do that? She and Ashley (the "demure" one) are 22, yet they often seem ancient, ancient, ancient.
The doll is my $3 Ross special from the era of "The Olsen Twins Go To College!" Obviously their choice of NYU made these dolls obsolete before they even hit the shelves, with their "GO TEAM" bullhorn accessories and "I can't wait to go to my first college football game!" quote on the box. Especially poignant since Mary-Kate was always sold as "the sporty one" before she went off the rails into tabloid land. It can't be a good thing to be for sale at such a young age. Let's peek into the windows of the soul and see what we can decipher.
It's always a peculiar thing, watching someone grow up on screen. Here, Mary-Kate shows off her sophisticated eye-style.
Dilated but sweet. Those camera flashes are brutal.
This is not her best look and leads me to suspect that there are mind-altering substances out there that I can't begin to fathom. I'm a little lost girl! With property in Manhattan!
Nobody hides behind the big shades like Mary-Kate. They're practically as big as her head. Maybe someone can manufacture glasses that actually wrap around the entire top of the head, like a helmet with eye-slits to peek out of. I think that would be quite chic!
Whoa--when did she turn 45? This is what I look like on a good day. And I'm 44.
Wholesome Olsen. Swiss Miss instant cocoa will warm you up inside.
Photoshop sure is swell.
Oh! Sorry to intrude.
Well, there you have it. A little tour of Mary-Kate Olsen's eyes. I hope you found the journey as fascinating as anything out there in celebrity blog-land. No?