Monday, December 03, 2012

Tiny adorable monochromatic creature collection

Over the years I've inadvertently collected (a total of three) tiny adorable monochromatic creatures. Each has a story to tell. Let's tell those stories through portraiture. I'm unemployed. You can tell.

The tiny creatures on a pencil to get a sense of scale.

Their colors remind me of the Crayola crayon that used to be called "flesh." The flesh-colored crayon was retired when enough people informed Crayola that the world is not made of one flesh tone. Crayola, to their credit, did agree with this assessment and now that crayon is no more. Or it's called caucasian or light beige or something. Crayola now makes a box of skin-tones called Multicultural Crayons (which also come in the awkwardly titled "Washable Multicultural") and so hooray for that. But these little creatures are of general tone and that tone is light beige.

Having a collection of light beige creatures is odd enough, but to have one consisting entirely of tiny beige creatures, one that was collected by accident—well, I don't know how that happened at all. All I know is they're super-cute and deserve some portraiture because the one unifying factor on the Internet is that cute things rule.

It could be argued that Cobi, the 1992 Olympic mascot from the Barcelona Games, is not all that cute. But compared to most Olympic mascots, he's positively squeezable in adorableness. He's supposed to be a Picasso-inspired Catalan sheepdog—definitely the first animal you think of when you comes to exceptional athletic ability. Or close. With his pudgy tummy, "love me" stance and asymmetrical features, he is a vision all right.

I got this Cobi (on purpose) in Spain in a package with a whistle pop (a lollipop that could also be used as a whistle) that was supposed to launch a plastic disc when blown The package ad type commanded you to "Lanza el disco con Cobi!" Doesn't that sound fun? Unfortunately, I kept everything in the package, hung on my kitchen wall, to the delight of my roommates I'm sure, and eventually a troupe of ants came and attacked the whistle pop with gusto. Everything had to be tossed except for Cobi himself. He's a survivor.

I chose to pose him with an dancing pack of cigarettes because I think he comes from a smoker's household. Also, he's definitely a presenter at heart.

Let's move in for his close-up.


Next is a teeny-tiny circus lion that I've had since I was teeny tiny. Part of the Liddle Kiddles Zoolery Doll line, I think I got this when I was six or seven. It comes with a purple train car cage and tiny pink bow tie. I'm too lazy to go upstairs and get the cage, but be assured it has pink wheels that really roll. The little kitty is just too, too adorable with his or her oversized head and removable bow tie. That's right—removable. Plastic toys used to have details until they were all deemed a choking hazard and now resemble ostrich eggs.

Tiny kitty would definitely be fond of pineapple juice.

squee—tiny Liddle Kiddle circus lion
Are you ready for this? Close-up!

Good God that's cute
Most mysterious of the tiny creatures is this little manga mascot that came with a school-girl doll, given to me by my friend Joy several years ago. The doll is really cute too but she's in a box somewhere. This little creature has wings and something lumpy stuck to his or her foot. This creature appears to be some kind of marmot or baby-bear guardian, or who knows? All I know is—IT'S CUTE.

A sophisticated look for tiny winged creature
Close-up (it's cute round head barely fit under the microscope camera):

Aw—don't be shy
But what is that thing on its foot? Help me out, Internet.

And now: Tiny lion hits the highway in a tiny Penelope Pitstop wacky racer.

Gaah! Too, too cute!

What the hell?

Oh, it's just Cobi's nose.


Dee See said...

This was THE perfect distraction. Relentlessly hilarious!!! This is one of those things that will make me laugh when it pops into my head during completely inappropriate times...I will have to show it to whomever is fortunate enough to be baffled by my random guffaws. :)

Miss Lisa said...

Oh, I'm glad you think so! Thanks. I just came back over here after visiting Daniel Ellsberg's blog and I gotta say—I'm a little self-conscious about posting portraits of tiny adorable creatures after reading his take on our two-party election system. Carry on, my friends!

Tuckers said...

I prefer tiny beige dolls to listening to a pundit about the two-party system by far!